navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #19 » Meditation
Open Poetry #19
Post A Reply Post New Topic Meditation Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2002-03-10 11:58 AM



Meditation

In the deep of listening
I sway a seaweed dance
where breathing is sweet intoxication
and my hair like dark rain, rains up,
orange fish with marble eyes
enclose themselves there
in green twilight daydream
flowing past precision’s dart,
this grace is slithering silent soft
and there is no voice but a flutter sings
like winged bird captured above a flower
stilled yet vibrant in delight of nectar
waiting - waiting this verdant display
to capture bliss.

The sound moves through the grass
drinking dew it floats across blade
and fulfills its silent velvet grace
in a sigh that feathers across the swamp
and through the briar's blistered path
that time made to a wealth of purple lupine
then waiting there in divine seclusion
a dance a dance a dance
that drenches every pore with feeling
and peace so sultry so inclusive
I’m lost for the open that I’ve melted.
----
6-00


© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
1 posted 2002-03-10 12:01 PM


If we listen just carefully enough.. We shall see your words dancing among your "meditations"... Lovely, Martie.. as always...
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2002-03-10 12:03 PM




(smiles) Awwwwwww, this is sooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, I felt as though I was on the bayou looking down at the lily-pads and watching the frogs leap about with the koi in the warm summer morning! (kiss on cheek) Your words always make me smile and dream away, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
3 posted 2002-03-10 12:08 PM


What a meditation this was! I love it when you take me with you on your journeys! The line "through the briar's blistered path" leaped out and gripped me. Delicious.

Silver Streak
Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625
FL, USA
4 posted 2002-03-10 12:14 PM


Wonderfully written, Martie.

((Martie))
-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2002-03-10 01:22 PM


Martie,
A delightful read, thank you.

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2002-03-10 01:29 PM


In the deep of listening
I sway a seaweed dance
where breathing is sweet intoxication
and my hair like dark rain, rains up

Awesome Martie!! Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
7 posted 2002-03-10 01:48 PM


Martie, this sounds like it could be two poems out of one meditation, paleeeze?  Oh, but this was so beautiful, and the visions of hair swimming up used to be my favorite thing to do as a child.

The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.
  ~* Albert Einstein *~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2002-03-10 03:19 PM


Beautiful Martie..much enjoyed today!  Hugs.

~Sometimes all you really wish for...
     is someone to wish for you.~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2002-03-10 05:40 PM



Where is my little red wagon when it comes to holding all of the feelings you bring out...?  Under your tree, perhaps?

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
10 posted 2002-03-10 07:59 PM


this grace is slithering silent soft
and there is no voice but a flutter sings
like winged bird captured above a flower
stilled yet vibrant in delight of nectar
waiting - waiting this verdant display
to capture bliss.

You have a brilliant way with words, Martie...
Loved this!

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

11 posted 2002-03-11 04:54 PM


And there's another one...(hunting out your poems that I've missed btw, lol)...

I've found something to critique *phew* - that was hard work...

er...but it's only one line..

'this grace is slithering silent soft'

it just doesn't work for me...maybe it's the sibilance, maybe it's the combination of slithering and silent...whatever it is, I'm uncomfortable with it - thought I'd point it out....

otherwise - the rest, your usual air-stealing standard...

hugs

K

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

12 posted 2002-03-16 01:28 AM


I like this very much.  You've captured this moment very well.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #19 » Meditation

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary