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Streen
Member

since 2001-11-28

Posts 169

0 posted 2002-03-04 08:09 PM

On thy cheek--a single tear
Is to me a drop of dewmist;
Gathered from the early dawning
Into the rosy petal's midst.

As does mist coalesce into
A hardy mountain frigid stream,
Alike thine eyes the water through,
Flowing down thy floral cheekbone.

The banks and beds of this petal,
Sparkle lightly amidst their shores,
As your eyes are alit with tears,
A lucid ray the sun outpours

And that light beaming far above
Casts a shadow through cloudy skies,
Which forms the image of the dove
Alighting on a nearby tree.

Watchful of the single droplet,
the stain upon thy rosy cheek,
It beats its wings with joyful chirps,
To uplift thee --drooped and weak.

When morning comes to the two,
Let aurora glisten freely,
So cascades the droplet through,
My love awaiting softly by.

-Derek

[This message has been edited by Streen (03-04-2002 08:23 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2002-03-04 08:28 PM

(smiles) Awwwwwww, this is sooooooo beautiful, sweet friend, your gorgeous words always bloom across these pages like flowers with loves beauty! (big hugggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is gorgeous! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Derek, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

2 posted 2002-03-04 09:00 PM

"When morning comes to the two,
Let aurora glisten freely,
So cascades the droplet through,
My love awaiting softly by."

Derek I could have hilighted the entire poem. I liked it a lot. especially this verse. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-03-04 09:02 PM

On thy cheek--a single tear
Is to me a drop of dewmist;
Gathered from the early dawning
Into the rosy petal's midst.

As does mist coalesce into
A hardy mountain frigid stream,
Alike thine eyes the water through,
Flowing down thy floral cheekbone.

The banks and beds of this petal,
Sparkle lightly amidst their shores,
As your eyes are alit with tears,
A lucid ray the sun outpours
==============================

this is fantastic writing...the vocabulary, phrasing, cadence and imagery are most impressive.
Very well done!!

So it seems your saving grace was only saving face,
you thought he was wanting you...
but he was only wanting you to let him off the hook.

~BNL~

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

4 posted 2002-03-04 09:07 PM

Beautifully written piece. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

5 posted 2002-03-04 09:50 PM

...my love awaits softly by.

The whole thing was good, but this...
what love abides, a very beautiful and tender sentiment. Nice. ThisDiamond

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2002-03-04 10:02 PM

Streen

Very beautifully done!!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

7 posted 2002-03-04 10:31 PM

"So cascades the droplet through,
My love awaiting softly by."

Lovely write, my friend, and a terrific ending...

jwesley

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 2002-03-05 09:46 AM

I enjoyed this very much... well written! *S*

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