Treasure Search (Duet with Nakdthoughts)

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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2003-05-23 08:09 AM

Intrinsic value
lies at times behind the reflection
so glaring in its honesty
that I miss the truth
of my own words
and my hearts need.

Still,
I search for that
which would allow me
to horde the treasures of you.

There are times when
the reflection tells me I am happy,
a false smile feigned on the outside
while I know that my genuine feelings
are of a love that cannot be returned
until the truth of your words
have touched the real of me
and then the searching
will be over.

Until then...
I'll keep your memory
locked securely
in my chest.

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

1 posted 2003-05-23 09:00 AM

Really nice work you two! I'm really impressed with these duets, they're truly seamless and seem to have flowed smoothly from your pens.

sea_of_okc
Senior Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 568
Oklahoma City, OK, USA

2 posted 2003-05-23 11:45 AM

Fabulous write you two.

Evokes a feeling of sadness and yearning but also carries a flavor of hope. Hopes, desires and memories of what was not but so wanted to be, something I think all of us can relate to.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2003-05-23 12:28 PM

"Until then...
I'll keep your memory
locked securely
in my chest."

Loved the double intendre there.

Lovely stuff...

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2003-05-23 03:22 PM

Oh, nicely done, both of you... the subject matter is simple but you kept the poem concise and phrased well what had to be said.

Good work...

Parasite

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2003-05-23 04:31 PM

Thanks to Ron, he chose a free verse for me to follow...

Methinks there is a poet inside him that can rise to any occassion or format.

*s
M

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

6 posted 2003-05-23 05:08 PM

M... you know that may be the nicest thing anyone ever said about me... and I sit here thinking I don't deserve that kind of praise...
thank you

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

7 posted 2006-09-29 10:26 PM

Some people spread goodness wherever they go....Ron, Maureen, you are two such, and this poem is a lasting illustration of it.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

8 posted 2006-09-29 11:18 PM

wow, thanks for bringing this one up Ed
it is a beauty
and boy, am I missing our cpat

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

9 posted 2006-09-29 11:28 PM

I do too....if there's one of our missing folks who I'd bring back with a magic wand, it would be him.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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