just a ramble, revisited - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2001-12-06 09:32 AM

just a ramble, revisited

times of consequence
gave the result
and effect,
the product being
and bringing
the outcome
and now the upshot
was the corollary
of the coronary
that did him in

and she had tried

oh she had tried

to save him from
this very thing
but he would bring
it on himself

could not find
himself in the
smile of her
could not see
in the
while of her
could not fathom
in the hear of
her
nor the here
of her

as he rocketed toward
a destruction that only
he could attain in height
and fright
she was helpless
and had to watch
but she knew

she had tried

oh how she had tried

but his ideal woman
had crashed long
before she came
around and she
had paid for
his coming
down
to

real

her dreams had been
his dreams at one time
and perhaps if there had
not been the his and hers
of the theirs and theirs
and if there had been
just them from the
start perhaps,

just perhaps

perhaps

he would have cried

at how much she tried

but he had quit dreaming
because of having been there
and done that while she still
had the been to go and the done
to be achieved

and she grieved

at the loss that was forthcoming
and knew she should cry now
and ask why now but all her
heart could say was

bye now

and her heart lifted a red
tendril of hope and waved
at what was and what could
have been had he listened and
wanted them as much as she
had wanted them but he had
been there and done that
and if the first could let
him down then why
not the second

as if he waited for the
curtain to fall

and she waited for the
act to quit

paralleling it onto the height
he had once achieved when he
flew the great steel
when with grasp he felt real
knowing that was his ideal
and under his control
like no person ever
could be

like no woman
ever should
be

so she tried to hide
the tears that were
cried even before
he ever died.

4 December 2000
reposted 6 December 2001

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

1 posted 2001-12-06 09:41 AM

Pretty interesting ramble Mama K..

I like it you know...something in me responds to it deeply right now...

K

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

2 posted 2001-12-06 10:20 AM

excellent one, this... like so many others... but unique in its own way...

regards, my friend,
sudhir

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

3 posted 2001-12-06 01:40 PM

There are so many things that can be said of this poem. Each verse demands introspection and inspection. The composition is devilishly clever, Karilea. I've read this poem at least 5 times, and I get more from it each time. Very well written.

sodpossom
Senior Member

since 2001-06-15

Posts 723
N.C

4 posted 2001-12-06 02:34 PM

Very deep and interesting!Well done!

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.