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Open Poetry #15
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2001-07-20 08:20 AM


Across a desert
I see a white tower
Rising up to Heaven
Against a cobalt sky
My eyes turned red
From tears of gratitude
And the wind began to howl
Furiously around me
As I knelt at the sight
So many miles
So many years away
Finally I see my destination
Treasure of which I sought
Relic of ancient time
Could it finally be true?
Just as I raise my hands
To the sky in thanks
A cloud passes over the white tower
A chill crosses my heart
With desperate fear
I run towards the sight
Limbs shaking every step
‘til I drop from exhaustion
Face down in the sand
Mind a waste, unable to move
Gradually falling into nightmarish sleep
And when I wake, I see,
Nothing



© Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-07-20 08:48 AM


nice imagery... and a tale that begs building on



Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
2 posted 2001-07-20 09:11 AM


Reminiscent of Stephen King's "Dark Tower."
Would like to se a sequel

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-07-20 10:06 AM


excellent imagery... a different style from you than we are used to...cleverly told to hold reader...
add my vote for more...you know me...I always want more of your poetry *L*

only you could give love that satisfies the soul...
see the darkness of my heart and still won't let me go.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2001-07-20 10:22 AM


intense emotions displayed here......this grabs the heart.....very well done  

"Four be the things I'd been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."
-- Dorothy Parker, on herself

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
5 posted 2001-07-20 02:26 PM


Great poem, feeling of fear and relief that we all have to endure in life, well done.
shadow974
Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636
Michigan
6 posted 2001-07-20 02:33 PM


Very nice job PoeticKnight. The emagery annd emothions work well.

Do not fear going forward slowly,
Fear only standing still.

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