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Open Poetry #15
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Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462


0 posted 2001-07-16 08:58 PM


Comes now the dim of vespertine,
...as sun sets in the west,
bustle of the dying day,
...lays down, 'fore evening's rest.

In the hush, I stand alone,
...'mid sea of endless grain,
whil'st multitudes of stars emerge,
...proclaiming daylight's wane.

Beneath of the vault of all that is,
...cathedral of all knowing,
I gaze above, in wond'rous awe,
...on glory of night's showing.

From the heaven's, hymns arise,
...unto the soul imploring,
sing the winds of eventide,
...to come, to come exploring.

Beyond the birthplace of our being,
...beyond our mortal realm,
where then and now are one the same,
...I seek night's overwhelm.


[This message has been edited by Mike (edited 07-16-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Mike - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-07-16 09:01 PM



vespertine...I would never think to use what I consider one of "your" words...

you use it so well...

Flutterwings
Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 288
Maine
2 posted 2001-07-16 09:13 PM


As I read I swayed to the rhythm of this work of rhyming art. How well you paint with so much poetic color. Bravo!   Love and peace ((~.~))


Mishtheelf
Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 68

3 posted 2001-07-16 11:02 PM


*laughs*  I hope that someday I can have some sort of magical epiphany and become blessed with an ability to rhyme like you.  I am mildly curious about one thing.  When you wrote this, were you genuinely lost in that feeling of wonder?  I don't think I could have stopped myself from falling into it while writing that.  Keep it up, you're great  


Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
4 posted 2001-07-16 11:30 PM


Outstandingly beautiful!!!!  

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2001-07-16 11:42 PM


Mike~

'Beyond the birthplace of our being,
...beyond our mortal realm,
where then and now are one the same,
...I seek night's overwhelm.'


You always capture a moment ... in stunning beauty.
This is certainly no exception to that practice !
Beautiful beyond the page~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                 noles1@totcon.com              

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
6 posted 2001-07-16 11:57 PM


'In the hush, I stand alone,
...'mid sea of endless grain,
whil'st multitudes of stars emerge,
...proclaiming daylight's wane.

Beneath of the vault of all that is,
...cathedral of all knowing,
I gaze above, in wond'rous awe,
...on glory of night's showing.'

Very cool images, Mike...I felt as if I were there, too...great write!

sp  

it was love that first drew me,
it is love that will keep me here...
now I see love burning brightly
when everything else is unclear...

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2001-07-17 09:28 AM



Mike-
   What a beautiful flow this has,
   and I love the wording you've used.
   Wonderful write!  

   ~vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2001-07-17 09:34 AM


this is truly marvelous, the flow, the use of language the feeling of another era profoundly well done

SUPERB!!!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2001-07-17 10:18 AM


I wish to see the night like you do, Mike...it is reverent awe, I think.  Thank you for sharing it.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2001-07-17 12:47 PM


Marge picked my favorite stanza...but it's ALL good!   As always, Mike, as always...
BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
11 posted 2001-07-17 01:01 PM


Beneath of the vault of all that is,
...cathedral of all knowing,
I gaze above, in wond'rous awe,
...on glory of night's showing.

From the heaven's, hymns arise,
...unto the soul imploring,
sing the winds of eventide,
...to come, to come exploring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's really difficult to choose a favorite verse, but I think the above may be the best.
I feel entire poem is outstanding.

Deb


catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
12 posted 2001-07-17 01:24 PM


This is gorgeous, Mike. I just started a colection of my poems with night themes. Wish I had done this one  
Romantic and melodic.
Sandra

thecraig
Member
since 2001-03-11
Posts 223

13 posted 2001-07-18 11:48 PM


You make resting an adventure. Thank you.

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