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Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

0 posted 2001-08-04 10:34 PM

I’m trapped, in a sea of weightless rubbage,
In a place where all reality ceases to exist.
Gravity fades as your limbs go numb,
Colors bleed and swirl together into a whirlpool of greens and reds and blues,
And as they swirl faster    just black.
Repulsive black, surrounds me filling my lungs and invading my mind,
But I reject it      it’s angry.
Enraged at my nerve to expel it    forced from it’s host… vile parasite,
Free     blackness fading        slowly     downed…
And awaken to a world that’s dead within itself.

" How can i feel if i can't breathe...?"
- Godsmack

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

1 posted 2001-08-04 10:49 PM

I've been keeping my eye out, waiting to see when you'd post again. I'm so happy to be the first to reply. The poem, wow! Very deep stuff here. Incredible writing. I'm impressed, yet again. "Repulsive black, surrounds me filling my lungs and invading my mind" I loved that line. And the pauses throughout this was very well done. You have a very awesome talent with writing. Keep up the good work.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-08-05 12:57 PM

I LOVED the last line.. "And awakened to a world that's dead in itself."  Amazing images throughout this poem.  THe descriptions are just beautifully written... the whole poem is very deep in meaning, and I'm wondering if an explination would be at hand... I also loved the lines:
"Colors bleed and swirl together into a whirlpool of greens and reds and blues,
And as they swirl faster    just black."
Beautiful work... I can't wait to read more from you.  Hopefully soon!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.