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Dark Materials #1: Death
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Dark Materials #1: Death |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Death One heart, one soul One body not quite whole. Shining knives, bloody stars Cut the wind with many scars. Children cry, tainted dreams Hollowed sky and broken seams. Liquid snow, frosted rain A crimson shirt of murder's stain. Frosted fires, glaring red Blinded by the silent dread. Burning moon, haunting sun Life hath gone, death hath won. ===== This is, no doubt, the darkest poem I've ever written so far. I don't know if I'll continue with this dark materials thing, in case I scare myself...heh. Until next time, Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... [This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 07-27-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
This was so good Leah! DARK and i loved it. IT flowed really nicely all around.. you made this wonderful. No lie, i loved it. DARK!!! gotta love it.. ~Jeff~ |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Hey Leah, This poem rocked. I'm sure it'll turn into a great series. The flow..the rhymescheme..all of it was great. Keep up the good work, can't wait til the next the in series.  -Kosetsu "Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Maybe if you want to make a series of it, you could post it is Dark Passions! It was very dark. |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
I was thinking about that... |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
*claps* Very good DaRk is gReAt. I really think you should continue with this. Until your next poem -- Linc "Blood Moon" |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was such a great poem!! i really loved how it was written and all the feeling you put into it...truely wonderful hun!! |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
this is really really really good leah!!..dark and loving it!!!..well done with this...should you continue?...YES!!!!....im waiting for the next installment!!! "Killer in me is a killer in you, my love |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Oh my, this was exceptional! I really liked this poem! It was awesome. Great job here!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I adore dark works of poetry. This was awesome, gave me goosebumps. Keep it up! I really hope you do write the series for this. amazing. library piece. Regina If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive. |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
Leah ~ This was way awesome!!  What don't kill you can only make you stronger... |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
this made me sad...as this is how i feel...your imagery is well written with these haunting thoughts...amazing piece. if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take |
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thedragonthomas Junior Member
since 2001-07-30
Posts 15 |
very nice work i like dark stuff, i listen to Danzig and it dosent get any darker than that! well, i hope to see more of this! later |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
Awesome, finely a poem that isn't about love he he. Good job, its going into my library. "Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
kool! hey i love this, great job. and obviously it is very dark, but oh welll right?? keep posting and doing everything that u do. -fear- i'm a penguin! i'm a penguin! i'm a cute lil penguiiiin! i'm a penguin i'm a penguin! i eat FISH!--tis the pretty penguin song |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow... very dark. This is one that really made me sit back and have to think. I loved the last lines... "death hath won." I really loved the flow throughout this piece. THe rhyme scheme was VERY well done. The images you portray are excellent... you are such a talented poet. This is definitely a piece to be proud of.. can't wait to see more! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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bOoGaSuGa Member
since 2001-08-03
Posts 54 |
YAY dark poems are my favorite good job |
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Postman Pat Junior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 23The Great Land DownUnder |
Again, this is really well written. You are begining to freak me out here. LOL. Great work I enjoyed it a lot. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
WOW! You have blown me away, Leah. Jeez, you're a talented little muffin, aren't you?  The flow you had in this very well done and the imagery is exceptional. I really hope you're proud of this because it is one of your better pieces. Actually, it is one of the best i have read. Keep 'em coming. ~AF~ "Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale |
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Terryloveiris_85 Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 61The middle of nowhere |
omg! i luved this!!!! abosuletly positively loved it! ~iris i'd give eternity to be by your side-goo goo dolls/City of Angels soundtrack goodness is found in the heart, not the money. [This message has been edited by Terryloveiris_85 (edited 08-06-2001).] |
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