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Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2001-07-26 06:16 PM

I’ve never even heard your sweet voice
And yet you’ve said so much.
How I long to stroke your hair,
How I wish to feel your touch.

I’ve never seen your pretty eyes,
Yet I know the look they held,
When I opened up my heart to you.
My hardened walls you’ve felled.

I’ve never even held you close
But I’ll keep you warm.
Keep you safe, held in my embrace
I’ll keep you safe from harm.

I’ve never before felt the love
That I feel for you,
Someday we’ll be together,
And do the things we dream to do.

"Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-07-26 06:41 PM

this is soooooo sweet

I love the feel of this

very nice

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

2 posted 2001-07-26 07:44 PM

2nd Stanza...You tried too hard to rhyme there. I didn't like it at all. Other than that though- The poem was great. Flowed well. You and Jess are starting to make me sick w/ all your lovey stuff. HeHeHeHE Kidding- I'm happy for you 2. She inspires some great writing in you.

[This message has been edited by Spice (edited 07-26-2001).]

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

3 posted 2001-07-26 07:48 PM

Yeah..I didn't like the second stanza either. It was a hard one..I couldn't find anything I liked that went with 'held'. Jess suggested compelled, but I couldn't think of anything to go with it that fits with the poem. Who knows..any ideas?

-Kosetsu

"Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown

Jessica

Member

since 2001-06-28

Posts 350
South AL

4 posted 2001-07-26 07:57 PM

Hey hon, sorry I wasn't here sooner. Usually I am the first to reply. I loved the poem; but you alredy knew that

Thank you sweetie. *hugs* Love ya!

Jesa - Thanx!!

You are too sweet!

What don't kill you can only make you stronger...

JBaker515

Member

since 2001-02-28

Posts 458
Dartmouth College

5 posted 2001-07-27 01:02 AM

other then this stanza

I’ve never seen your pretty eyes,
Yet I know the look they held,
When I opened up my heart to you.
My hardened walls you’ve felled.

The poem was good.
Not ur best work though, just being honest!

~Jeff~

"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-07-27 01:10 AM

I thought this was sweet and nicely done. I've seen better from you, but fine nonetheless.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

7 posted 2001-07-27 05:12 AM

this is really a very sweet poem kosetsu!!!!....itd be wonderful to see you two together!!! thanks for the read

"I hope my mum and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
I hear them scream, I hear them fight
Say bad words that make me wanna cry"
E

angel_2401
Member

since 2001-06-12

Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH

8 posted 2001-07-27 04:34 PM

I thought this was good, and really sweet!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

9 posted 2001-08-02 01:13 PM

All these sweet poems.. goodness, this person must be very special. Nicely done, Adam. Very well written...

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

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