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little angel
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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little angel |
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Raven Skye Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112.In a House. 
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There was a lot more to this, but I had to edit it out a lot to fit the forum rules...AHH!!! oh well, here it is: Oh, little angel tell me what's right. So much pressure I no longer wish to fight. See this pressure is being pressed too much. I'm getting so frustrated, I don't want to be touched. All of this pressure, is putting a knife thru my heart. Little angel, it's killing me, I'm about to fall apart. This is so hard to explain these fears. So I reject them all, still my eyes carry tears. I cannot tell him that it's not what I want. But if I don't tell him My fears will soon haunt. I cannot dissappoint him, I have to give him this. I get lonely too and need him there, I always long for his kiss. But I love him so much. He doesn't feel the same. He's in it for one thing, they say, like it's so sort of silly game. I'm too weak to deal this is something I can't face for when I confront this my heart begins to race. Little angel, come help This love is a war. It's making me fragile, I don't want this anymore. I want to learn one day, how to say no I want the power on how far we'll go. And I wish to tell him That it's something I don't want to do. And if it happens again I want to first hear, "I love you" And I hope he does mean it, beacause if not, then I'll leave And it'll be hard but it'll make me less naive. He got the best of me, he always got his way, but I'm changing so slowly Little angel, I'm telling him today. *×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×* |
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| © Copyright 2001 Raven Skye - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
People in love will wait forever  Follow your heart Good luck |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I totally agree with Kevin. If he was in it for one reason, then that should be reason enough for you to give him the boot. People like that are so shallow. I have no respect for them. Nice poem, crappy situation. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"But I love him so much. He doesn't feel the same. He's in it for one thing, they say, like it's so sort of silly game." I can relate to this... and what Kevin said about people in love waiting forever.. that is so true. I really liked this, Raven. The whole poem was well written... a few problemns with flow here and there, but nothing to be too concerned about. Over all, the rhyme scheme and the meter worked very well. Good job --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
this was a VERY poem a lot can relate to...such sad ways...and you should definitly "follow your heart"...hope things well...bye  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
I want to learn one day, how to say no i wish i knew how to say no.....this is a sad poem raven...it said so much with such simple words...thanks for sharing |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought you did well on this one. Written nicely.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
A simple rhyme scheme with a powerful message behind it. It flowed really well and because of that, your point got across better. Unfortunately we need people like this make up the crappy half of the population. Just think of it this way, you have to go through the bad ones to appreciate the good ones. ~AF~ "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal |
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DarkenedShadow Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114Kansas |
A thought I think that needs to be expressed a hundred times over in our society today and you did the job of doing it too. This poem seems to also have double meaning to it, I'll figure it out- because i know theres more to it... /Nick/ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I believe it's time to rid of this guy is that's all he's after. He should never put any kind of pressure on you. Hope you find and make the right decision. Thanks for sharing and keep it up. hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was wriiteen well. I liked the way it was put together. i hope alll works out in the end. Regina |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Wow...ok...I was in this exact situation but I didnt listen to myself..I listened to HIM. Like Kevin said people who are really in love or really respect you will wait until you are completely ready to move onto the next step. Listen to what you not only feel in your heart, but what your mind is saying to you. Good luck to you! ~Nikki~ It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them. |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
I think this line summed up your emotions in this poem??: This love is a war. And unfortuantely most love is a war... and a battle a strggle... I'm exactlly like you in many ways... often falling into love with people who dont seem to care about me... however you said you'd "walk away" and though you're in such a hard situation you should remember you're one step ahead of a lot of people (e.g me) who'd never ever be strong enough to walk away... Very admirable! also great post.. ALLIE |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
Im not sure what to say, this beautifully worded poem hit me in the heart. A very creative and well written peice, to my library it goes. "Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
hello i liked this very much so! very nice i like it alot! "I have no never-again, I have no always" |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
I see what you're up to.. been there too. I hope you'll be okey. and the poem is great. I think I'll put it in my library. I can so relate to it... nice write. I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you? |
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