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stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

0 posted 2001-07-15 10:40 PM

Voice of an Angel
Wings of a dove
rapidly filling me
Up with your love

Your wings expand
Your halo shines
Your arms stretch out
Your protection I find

Eyes of clear blue
Hair a golden brown
You watch over me
As you Gently look down

Voice of the Devil
Eyes full of hate
What did I do to
Deserve this cruel fate

His horns grow up
As his tail grows down
And my Angel
Begins to frown

Closer he holds me
He Will not let go
I know that I am loved
This he will show

A kiss on the forehead
A gentle hug too
"Don't let the Devil
Get a hold on you"

Wings stretch out
then wrap around me
Soft feathers of protection
Are all I can see

As you hold me close
In my heart I know
That as long as I'm with you
My love I will show

The moral of the story
Is simple but it's true
Don't miss out on love
For it can rescue you

I LOVE ZU, hey Albie, Cody, Allan, Carly, Cherish, Lizzy, Kris, *HUGS JAVI*, Tamma, Acire, and Branden.
*HUGS ZU*

Tamma

Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV

1 posted 2001-07-15 10:43 PM

Oh, boy do I know about the moral!! I've been saved by many a friend or boyfriend telling me they love me. I'm prone to having bad things happen to me. so...ANyways, Love the poem!! email me some of your poems when I take flight!!

"A friend's shoulder makes a
nice pillow when you're crying" ~Me
"If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess love is too" ~Me

branden726

Senior Member

since 2000-09-25

Posts 607
Bay City, MI

2 posted 2001-07-15 10:45 PM

Ya know you came to me for help on this one here and you said "it sucked" by no means did this poem suck. This poem reminded me of a friend i once had that i love so very much and now he lives so far away from me....this is wonderful keep writting.

All you other poets beware my true feelings and poetry are about to flare!
~*~Branden~*~

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

3 posted 2001-07-15 10:48 PM

I like this one a lot. It's gotta be nic to have a love like that... Anyway, keep postin. Good Poem.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-07-16 12:06 PM

wow...amazing meaning behind this one...i loved this piece..Stace

...you written this very well...just awesome!...enjoyed greatly.

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 07-16-2001).]

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

5 posted 2001-07-16 07:34 AM

Great work Stace, I really enjoyed the read.
Lots of Angels recently
Zu

*hugs*

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

6 posted 2001-07-16 07:12 PM

Awww STACE!

This is most definetly my fav. of all your posts. I REALLY liked it! You did an absolutely wonderful job- great rhyme scheme too!

angel_2401
Member

since 2001-06-12

Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH

7 posted 2001-07-16 08:13 PM

STACE!!! you told me this sucked! This totally rocks!!! I should beat you up for lying to me.. lol...j/k luv ya sis!

Kristin

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

8 posted 2001-07-16 09:35 PM

Awesome work, Stace! This is one of the best poems I've read from you, technically. The flow ROCKED! The meter was so well done, there was not one break whatsoever. That's not easy to accomplish, but you did a fantastic job! The story kept me interested througout, (which, i must say, is hard right now, seeing I've been sleep deprived at camp all week, and it's getting late). I loved this! Wonderful work.
"Don't miss out on love
For it can rescue you"
I don't quite agree with the moral, however. If you're so heartbroken that you pass up a chance at love for fear of being hurt again, then there's no crime in that. And if one is so heartbroken from a recent breakup, but entrusts someone with their heart once more, only to have more heartbreak... that's not quite rescuing that person, either. However, I loved the poem as a whole! Wonderful work!!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

9 posted 2001-07-17 06:07 PM

whoa, somehow i missed this... anyways, as i told you before this is awesome, its wonderful, i totally love it. again this was totally awesome. i absolutly loved it.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

10 posted 2001-07-17 07:39 PM

What a crappy moral!

haha no, just kidding! Actually I thought this poem COMPLETELY ROCKED. I really liked the flow of it. You did awesome on this one stacy.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

11 posted 2001-07-22 03:01 AM

LOL@Dopey!! Here, have a cracker and calm down.

Stace, excellent job. Nice moral even though I too don't agree with it. Loves a trap but we don't need to go into that.

Your rhyme scheme was pretty good.

Thanks for the read. You keep 'em coming, now you hear?

~AF~

Tearless grief bleeds inwardly.
~ Christian Nevell Bovee ~

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

12 posted 2001-07-22 05:16 AM

Love is great when you have it but it hurts a lot when you lose it so hold onto it as long as you can.But anyway I loved this poem and keep up the awsome work.
Lauren

DYME
Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 104
Texas

13 posted 2001-07-22 07:09 PM

that was so good!! i liked this one a lot.

I'm not crazy...I have papers to prove it!!

No weapon formed against me shall prosper... ISAIAH 54:17

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

14 posted 2001-07-22 08:35 PM

Wow. Simply...wow. Stace, this poem simply rocked, as the others have said. The flow was excellent, the short lines were perfect, the words were perfect, everything about it was perfect!

As for the moral...maybe. If you fall in love with someone, and they don't love you back..or say they do, only to turn out they're using you...that is far from a rescue. More of a kidnapping and murder of one's heart. However...if you can find someone to love, that truly loves you back..someone you can depend on through thick and thin, someone that enjoys your company simply because of who you are..but that will also talk to you openly about their feelings on your actions...then that can be the greatest rescue from the troubles of this world there can possibly be.

Again, this poem was simply excellent. I can't find a single thing wrong with it.
-Kosetsu

"Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

15 posted 2001-07-22 11:37 PM

oh this is really cute!!!!!

DarkenedShadow
Member

since 2001-07-23

Posts 114
Kansas

16 posted 2001-07-23 02:59 PM

Improve? Heck you seem like a natural to me.The whole concept of good and evil was really brought out on the whole section. Thanks for sharing it with all of us. Look forward to more. /Nick/

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