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Teen Poetry #5

You next to me

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

0 posted 2002-08-04 01:28 AM

You next to me,
Ecstasy,
Your lips on mine,
Paradise,
My eyes seeks yours,
Ever more,
Your love within,
Secretly,
My heart sings,
Your beat,
Lifeless I feel,
Holding you still,
Forever never more,
Your love touches my soul.

Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.)

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

1 posted 2002-08-04 01:55 AM

I really enjoyed the beginning of this piece, the simple pattern you had going caught my eye and kept it...however towards the end you broke that pattern...which although is no necissarly a bad thing, it threw me off gaurd!

Anyway...the poem was really good!thanks for the post!

~Lisa

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