navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » You next to me
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic You next to me Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA

0 posted 2002-08-04 01:28 AM


You next to me,
Ecstasy,
Your lips on mine,
Paradise,
My eyes seeks yours,
Ever more,
Your love within,
Secretly,
My heart sings,
Your beat,
Lifeless I feel,
Holding you still,
Forever never more,
Your love touches my soul.

Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.)

© Copyright 2002 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved
LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
1 posted 2002-08-04 01:55 AM


I really enjoyed the beginning of this piece, the simple pattern you had going caught my eye and kept it...however towards the end you broke that pattern...which although is no necissarly a bad thing, it threw me off gaurd!

Anyway...the poem was really good!thanks for the post!


~Lisa

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » You next to me

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary