Frozen in the world of being alone

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Little_White_Flowers
Junior Member

since 2002-01-27

Posts 23

0 posted 2002-03-08 10:31 PM

I sit I dream I pray
everything seems so gray
Frozen in a sea of pain.

Tears melt down my face
burning to leave their trace.
Frozen in the sky of hate.

blood flows free agianst my skin
wondering carefully what could of been.
Frozen in the winds of maddness.

Nothing here nothing there
i am fully clothed and yet i am so bear.
Frozen in a time of lonelyness.

My eyes oh those eyes that betray me so
they swim around like the fish so low.
Frozen in the waves of turmoil

my heart and mind and soul
nothing to bear nothing to fill the bowl.
Frozen in the dust of fear.

Alone I sit I dream I pray
Alone do I see all this gray
Alone may i see my tear stained face
Alone can i see there firey trace.
Alone the blood brings me around
Alone do i sit not hearing a sound.
Alone am i naked alone am i bound.
Alone my eyes are how empty they seem.
My heart soul and mind have lost there beem.

Frozen in my world of being alone.

[This message has been edited by Little_White_Flowers (03-08-2002 10:44 PM).]

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

1 posted 2002-03-09 12:43 PM

Wow, this is really sad. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way.
The emotions in here come out loud and clear. I like the repetition usage as it brings a bit more of a backing to the piece instead of just being a normal A-Line format.

Look after yourself and thanks for the read.

~AF~

::Most people never listen::
Ernest Hemingway

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

2 posted 2002-03-10 01:00 AM

Hmm... I'm thinking I like. I really like the end stanza where you sort of brought everything together. It worked really well.

Thanks for the read!

I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2002-03-10 11:16 PM

It seems as though your mind was going a mile a minute and it was trying to absorb all aspects of your emotions and perceptions of what was going on all at once. I really enjoyed it!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

blakloks
Member

since 2002-06-01

Posts 60

4 posted 2002-06-02 11:51 PM

i lovedthis poem. keep it up!
you realli could express your emotions and make others feel strongly for you. hope u'll feel better!~hugs~

Xaphan
Junior Member

since 2002-05-29

Posts 22

5 posted 2002-06-03 02:24 PM

Very poignant. That's about all I can say. I'm practically speechless. I don't think enough credit is given to us teens when it comes to expressing and feeling emotion. We're thought of as only feeling shallow emotions such as lust and vanity, but if those same people would stop by this forum once in a while, they'd think different. Thanks for the write, I'll be sure and read your next one!

[This message has been edited by Xaphan (06-03-2002 02:25 PM).]

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