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The Truth Beneath
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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The Truth Beneath |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... 
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The lonely truth beneath, No knight in shinning armor to bequeath; Afraid to come out and play, Bedridden by despair it lays. Afraid of rejection, which often appears, Despising pain, and loathing all peers True colors below… Tears dwell there, proof of the lows. Caves of broken hearts, with nameplates on the limestone Layers of neglect, morbid accounts of every single blow Dig down; find what you're looking for! Are you willing to see, to be shaken pore to pore? It's not just you, nor me…all of us under the sun! We've created the masks we all wear…without them: undone. The lonely truth beneath, No knight in shinning armor to bequeath; Afraid to come out and play, Bedridden by despair it lays. Afraid of rejection, which often appears, Despising pain, and loathing all peers Through the layers we've all created, True love digs, façade after façade; there when needed. Are we aware of our actions, in joy…when blue? Do we even know just what we do? So hidden by lies, only He knows the genuine. What if we all left down the barriers, line after line? Forgot our insecurities, and agreed to see through the lies? Could we stand the possibilities? The lonely truth beneath, No knight in shinning armor to bequeath; Afraid to come out and play, Bedridden by despair it lays. Afraid of rejection, which often appears, Despising pain, and loathing all peers |
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| © Copyright 2002 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*grins* I liked this the first time, and I like it still! Way to go Ti!!! You know you're Canadian when if something's broken, the first thing you ask is if it can be fixed with WD-40 or Duct Tape |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Way to go Titus, I really loved this poem the language you use is wonderful and it really is a great poem. Hope to see more of your work soon  Join the Imperial Space and Navy and become a Ti(tus) fighter. ;) |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Titus- You have some really nice phrasing here, and I'd have to agree with Scooby Zu...your language use is impressive and very appropriate! Sometimes, the flow was disturbed by evil sticking-out-whatchamacallits, but that can be fixed easily. I felt dark throughout the entire thing...just dark. Line by line, all I could think was "dark""dark""dark". Dark is good. *yayness!* ^_^ Thanks for sharing! ^_^ ++ Leah ++ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow... this is definitely one of the strongest pieces I've read from you. The power of emotions raging throughout this piece is impressive. The style of language, format, content, and approach made this poem creative. I enjoyed every line, and am putting this in my library. Nicely done, Titus. I really like this.. --Marie "It was a long December, but there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." (Counting Crows) |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Very strong piece!!! Amazing job..im not even shur what to say but I LOVED IT! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Ooh ooh, wow. If I was a blusher, I'd be blushing right now. Thank you too everyone, I appreciate your comments immensly. God bless.Sincerely, Titus The One, The Only... The Titus. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
You are a blusher, what are you talking about? I like it the third time through, too! You know you're Canadian when if something's broken, the first thing you ask is if it can be fixed with WD-40 or Duct Tape |
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HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
There's nothing I would have done to make this poem better. It's unique and it will stay that. It's a very special piece with uncommon words and phrases. It's always good to see things different around here. Keep up the good work.  "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
I have to say thanks for that, I appreciate mucho! ...and that SMILEY IS AWESOME! I love it!!! Too cool, LoL. Sky, thanks. Much love! Sincerely, Titus The One, The Only... The Titus. |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
It sucks!!! The only thing that I fear is to die quietly. |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
No, no, no... I'm kidding. I loved it! Very powerful and meaningful poem. Much, much depth in this. My favorite stanza was the third one and I think the second to last one... I can't quite remember exactly where it was. Also, the repitition of the one stanza was very strong. I enjoyed this very much. Makes you wonder... how would we live without the lies and masks? Would we even know how to? *hugs ya* (Since I know that's all you really want. Who am I - your hugglez-whore?!!) Good grief.  Love, Jaime The only thing that I fear is to die quietly. Read between the lines. jaimespoetry.blogspot.com [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (01-09-2002 10:05 PM).] |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
*reads Jaime's comment* That's not nice!!! *THWACK!!!* Hmmm...I liked this! I liked it alot! Pardon me for my cruddy reply---but Ima tired. (Heh---almost to the point where I had to read it twice) Anywho...you're quite the poet! I envy you!!! And I really liked that word "bequethed" Heeee---it sounds cool! The trick is to know when to walk away---and TO KNOW WHEN TO RUN!!! |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
great poem hun *hugs* i have a wish but only a certain guy can fufill it! |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Thanks everoyne!  Now, more hugs!!! Not you, Alex! Thanks though! Sincerley, Titus I am me, living in my dreams. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
No More Hugs? Sincerely, Titus I am me, living in my dreams. |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
*debates on a hug*... *cringes*.. I'm not feelin' it. *bites Titus and walks out* Peace. The one and only The only thing that I fear is to die quietly. |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
How true this is. Everyone lives under a mask, whether or not they are aware of it, or whether or not they want to. But I guess, when the time comes for them to bare their soul, if they can just open themselves up to one person who doesn't judge them too harshly, it'd be just great. _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*tries not to laugh at Ti's bite as she hugs him* Oh that's too good! Every time I read it it gets better! I used to be open minded, but all my brains fell out |
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rubberband Junior Member
since 2002-01-04
Posts 26Will be half Swiss one day |
That is great. Never thought of knights that way. *There goes my dream knight*  But that is okay! Who needs him, right? |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Thanks rubberband... I appreciate any comments. Now, why didn't you hug me? This is a hug-only thread! LMAO.... *smacks sky's butt just for the heck of it*Sincerely, Titus "Shot to the heart, |
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