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DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

0 posted 2001-12-07 02:59 PM

-=What Will It Take=-

What will it take
to make you turn around and see
make you open up your eyes
and fall in love with me

If I only knew
what I need to say
to open up your eyes to me
and take your breath away

Just tell me what
it is I need to do
to capture your heart
so you love me, too

And if there are no words
to change the way you feel
give me a reason to hate you
and maybe someday i will heal

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

-=*=-
New Member

since 2001-12-07

Posts 1

1 posted 2001-12-07 03:22 PM

Really cool poem, but I must comment on the title. It's wonderful it's like my name :-P heh heh great job

-=*=-

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

2 posted 2001-12-07 05:12 PM

I really, really loved this poem. To be honest I'm not exactly sure why... it's just the way you worded it and your ending I guess. I just really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for posting!! Oh... and good luck.

The only thing that I fear is to die quietly.

jaimespoetry.blogspot.com

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

3 posted 2001-12-07 06:39 PM

Awsome poem I loved it but I love all your poems.You really do have a special talent and keep up the awsome work.
Lauren

"I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

4 posted 2001-12-07 11:48 PM

hmmmm, this doesn't seem right
I thought you both are together again
what's going on now?
I do like the structure of the poem though
You have grown and adapted to a certain style of writing
It's actually made you a much better poet
I'm very impressed
keep it up Buttons

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?

[This message has been edited by acire (edited 12-07-2001).]

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-12-08 02:06 AM

whoa...nicely protryed,Kiley. VERY heartfelt...ending ended it, wonderfully.

Hey...#25437
What!
You in there?
Yea, im in here.
ok

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

6 posted 2001-12-08 11:47 AM

LOVING this. Great work Kiley. As always, I relate muchly.

Jenn

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

JBaker515

Member

since 2001-02-28

Posts 458
Dartmouth College

7 posted 2001-12-08 11:59 PM

It wont take much because you are an amazing person from head to toe, and you deserve the best. Your time will come, dont rush it, you have so much life to live. You know you are special and Mr. Right will come, and he will treat you like a queen. I promise you that.
Loved the poem babe!
SMILE!

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

8 posted 2001-12-09 04:53 AM

~Kiley~

I love this one!!! It is something that I would like to give to someone. But you did a great job opening yourself up and getting to the point of what you wanted!!

"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend."

luvnkris
Member

since 2000-08-31

Posts 144
Perth, Australia

9 posted 2001-12-09 07:47 AM

This was a great poem I really enjoyed reading it! Best of Luck with the guy...

Love Jo

* never live a second without being grateful for all you have around you*

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

10 posted 2001-12-09 11:26 AM

Oh deary

Could relate to this piece like no other.
I love it in a sad way, kiley.
You always were a great writer and this only shows it.
Thank you very much for posting this.
I'm going to print it off and stick it on my wall to remind me to get over him somehow. *sighs*

~AF~

"When I eat I feel. It is better if I don't feel, I am too afraid." - Ellen West

branden726

Senior Member

since 2000-09-25

Posts 607
Bay City, MI

11 posted 2001-12-09 01:07 PM

Hey, you havent heard from me in a while but if you at all have to make someone "turn around and see" that they love you then it wouldnt be love hun, if they look at you and say oh im in love with you then that might be love but not always. You see when u try to make someone love you....It doesnt work because then u start molding them to exactly what you want and well thats how i just lost my gf of 1 year 3 months not to long ago. Not good. I liked the poem tho made lots of since.

All you other poets beware my true feelings and poetry are about to flare!
~*~Branden~*~

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

12 posted 2001-12-09 02:53 PM

Kiley,
I liked this one alot!!! I haven't seen post in awhile, but I hope to see more!! Great work, and I hope that ur situation improves!!

~*Nikki*~

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

13 posted 2001-12-09 04:21 PM

thanks for the info Brandon, but i know...but u can still dream

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

14 posted 2001-12-10 07:10 AM

Oh wow, this piece hit me hard! The last two lines were like a kick in the stomach. I think more people here can relate than you think.

Very nice work, Kiley! I really enjoyed this.

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

15 posted 2001-12-10 10:03 AM

This was an awesome poem kiley...love sucks sometimes...i agree with you..sometimes i wish the person i love could give me a reason to hate them so it would make it easier for me to get over them..but unfortunately im usually not that lucky but i hope you are if things dont work out for you!! nicely done

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

16 posted 2001-12-12 03:16 PM

thanks everyone

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

corey14
Member

since 2001-05-23

Posts 89
Boston, Mass, U.S.A.

17 posted 2001-12-16 10:53 AM

omg thats the same way i am fealing and i can realy relate this is one of the very best poems i ever read keep up the work

$~~~corey~~~$

live a little everyday and when its all over you will have lived a lot

crazymin83
Junior Member

since 2001-09-16

Posts 49
Mass

18 posted 2001-12-17 10:13 AM

Hey I really liked your poem, it was nice.

Min

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