»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
descriptive poems (candy girl & dan)
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
descriptive poems (candy girl & dan) |
|
|
thedarkangel Member
since 2001-05-12
Posts 74~*~the cutest~*~ |
~*~candy girl is my "little"(and i use that term loosely) sister Emily aka MnM~*~ Curly red hair like strawberry lace hangs against your sugar spun face Cheeks blushed like fluffy pink marshmallows sweet as candy, never shallow Big eyes, green as jellybeans she's made of stuff from childish dreams Melted chocolate freckles dot your nose they've never faded even when you grow Lips the colour the colour of bubblegum the sweetest sis under the sun. ~*~"dan".... is er... about dan! not so descriptive. more my feelings!~*~ Eyes like shards of broken glass delve into my soul No one can grasp Why I love you One reason only true You're the one I can open to My heart, My mind I speak the truth from my soul What I feel is true to you The road ahead is as long as you make it. Make it worth the trip ~*~jon bon jovi~*~ |
||
| © Copyright 2001 laura - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
The first one is the cutest poem EVER!I really liked it... You should show your sister. The second was sweet. I'm glad you found someone you can open up to and love so much. You seem to really care about him. I liked this alot. |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Both were amazing definite library pieces! the description was outstanding. I have lots of respect for a poet who can a paint a picture for me! *appalause* If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive. |
||
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Both poems were very good. I REALLY liked the first one! VERY sweet! The way you described her red hair, and freckles, and lips.. nicely done! The second is also very good. I loved the opening: "Eyes like shards of broken glass/delve into my soul". I love those two lines!! Nice work. I really enjoyed both poems. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
||
|
CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
I liked them both! Though I would have to sa I liked the first one best. It wasreally sweet. =) - Cody - |
||
|
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
damn this are both really kool! i bet your little sister would like the one you wrote about her. the second one was great too. thanks for sharing! -fear- emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
similar in some ways yet...so different in style...the first oen was very cute and nice VERY discriptive...the second one was full of emotions...and heartfelt...i enjoyed both a lot. im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
||
|
thedarkangel Member
since 2001-05-12
Posts 74~*~the cutest~*~ |
thanks! mnm really liked her poem and has it pinned on her pin board! ta chaps! laura ~*~ The road ahead is as long as you make it. Make it worth the trip ~*~jon bon jovi~*~ |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked these poems a lot. My fav was the first one thoug, very cute.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
The first poem is awesome *applauds* I hope you showed this to her The second poem is pretty good thanks for sharing hope to see more hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
