no title (i need your help on this topic)

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Dana Samples
Member

since 2001-04-07

Posts 68

0 posted 2001-07-04 05:56 PM

hey guys i need some help. i ahve been fighting a war with my problem os self mutilation now for 4 years. i haven't hurt myself sense nov. of 2000. if anyone else has gone through this can you tell me how long did it take you to get over? i still get really bad urges to hurt myself and its HARD to keep from doing it. so i guess i would like some advice. and on the poem too. thanks. love-dana

(no title)

why is it,
whenever i’m down
i feel the need to turn to you?
i try to resist
but
your power overwhelms me
you are so addicting
just like a drug

you ARE a drug.
not the type you put into your body
but one that is already within
i just
arrows you.

i arrows you with
pain
inflict my self with pain
and
there you are
waiting for me

once i have you
you flow through
me
filling my veins
like..
like…
eXtAcY

So quick
so fast
so..
so…
painless

then everything is fine
everything is…
peaceful
i become one with
myself
everything that was wrong is
gOnE
DiSaPpEaReD
eXtInCt
VaNiShEd
but then
you die
you start to
DiSsOlVe

And i come back to reality
and feeling more
IgNoRaNt
than before

i ask myself WhY
What was it all for?
i must be
DuMb and
iDiOtIc

your not supposed
to do THAT
everyone tells me not to

but then again
what do they KnOw?
They don’t know about the sudden
RuSh
you give me
and how you take away all the
pAiN

but why do I still fill
IgNoRaNt?

why do I keep coming back for
more?

By: Dana Samples 7-2-01

thanks again guys

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

1 posted 2001-07-04 06:48 PM

Dana, I wish I could help you. I have never had urges like that so I really don't understand what you are feeling and why you would do it. But- I have read poems in here from people who suffer from the same type problem. I'm sure they will be around shortly to respond and help you. As for the poem- It was outstanding. You expressed yourself so well. I got to see what it was like to be in your mind for a few moments. Wonderfully written. Just wonderful. Keep posting. And I hope things get better.

TunaKaHuna
Junior Member

since 2001-06-28

Posts 19
United States

2 posted 2001-07-04 07:16 PM

Dana, you need to understand what you are doing, and why you're urges are going to continue unless you get some help. I have a few very close friends that have done what you are doing now. Even though I can't relate to you personally, I understand more clearly what you are going through with your heart-wrenching poem and with my friends' exsperiences. Try, try so hard to help yourself make the right decision, and find a way to yeild to your "urges", which you show remorse falling into them. You must be a good friend to someone near by in person, thats what you should do to make yourself better. Surround yourself with the urges to show them how much you can live up just daily life strongly...Even if we have our bad days, there is always something else then what you are doing to make ourselves feel better and not have any regrets. Take care, and live life to its fullest....

--Brenton

If you give a person a title, then you really dont have to know a person...but, they may just be the person who can make you see of happy life can be.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-07-05 12:14 PM

Listen to Brenton. He's a very wise guy, and knows what he's talking about. All I can say is, not hurting yourself for 9 months?? Wow... you should be VERY proud of yourself. Email me... we can talk

I think we might have a lot to talk about. I look forward to hearing from you...

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

4 posted 2001-07-06 03:09 AM

wow~im sorry you're going through this problem. definetly get some help

and listen to what he said ^
keep writing if it makes things better
*dq

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

5 posted 2001-07-06 04:06 AM

dana...i've done this before too. i haven't in a long time (Pry four months) cause i talked to a friend and got help. my advice to you is to go to a close friend like i did. she made me realize how stupid and dangerous what i was doing was. if you ever wanna e-mail me, go for it i'm pretty much always online (haha i have no life) great poem by the way...i've felt that way too, but it isn't the end of the world and you can get better. good luck.
-fear-

i'm a penguin! i'm a penguin! i'm a cute lil penguiiiin! i'm a penguin i'm a penguin! i eat FISH!--tis the pretty penguin song

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-07-08 02:10 AM

This does seem like an issue you might consider getting pro. help for it.
I also think with "arrows" you were meaning "Arose".....anyhow, nicely done here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

7 posted 2001-07-12 07:12 PM

I do suggest you get help from a doctor and professional. This is a serious amtter and it might end up worse than just self mutilation. Please talk to an adult or professional about this matter. Hope things work out.

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-07-12 08:06 PM

whoa..this expressed so much pain..i saw it within this piece...you wrote it well...and hope you will overcome this...also everything to get better for you.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

9 posted 2001-07-13 03:04 AM

I know you can get over it. You seem like a very strong person and i wish the best for you. I can't offer any help because the only understanding i have of anything like that is 11th grade Psych. But i'm sure you have enough friends here to help.

The poem's style was impressive. its something i've been shooting for for a while.
Good job

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

10 posted 2001-07-13 10:55 AM

Honey, wanna come over? mail me or call me...you know the info.
*hugs* and a whole bunches of love,
~Carly

Speak softly and carry a beagle.

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught."
~Edouard Manet

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