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| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Halfway |
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A Square Paraboloid New Member
since 2001-11-06
Posts 8 |
a longing rests in calloused hands his churning reverie a daylight myth whose summer's breach recalls those magma creams he swoons below a silent breath and meets the light halfway. November the sixth. I am trying to get better at writing poetry. I am very excited about reading your art. A Square Paraboloid [This message has been edited by A Square Paraboloid (edited 11-06-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tanya Asche - All Rights Reserved | |||
DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
 WELCOME!! You've come to the right place  (isnt that a relief) haha This was an excellent first post. Very deep. i'm anxious to read more! Hope you enjoy it here *dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Well written, love of my life. I'm glad that you decided to come and join me in this place, now I feel a bit less nervous with someone to hold my hand. Welcome to Passions. Theo |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Welcome to Passions! Very good first post. Very deep.very interesting. Thanx for reading my post by the way. hope to see more soon. Jon "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Okay...What Local said made me go "Awww"...hehe ANYWAY  WELCOME TO PIP!This was an eye-popping first post...Very well done indeed. I'll be here, squirming in my chair till I get to see more...HeHeHe... Thanks for the read.  -Jesa Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them. |
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Crash&Burn Member
since 2001-01-18
Posts 119 |
first of welcome to pip, secondly I see you have alot of raw talent, yet I believe your being shy in reaching your true potenltial or at least showing it to us, so come on hand it over . This is a excelent piece short and it certanly sparks the mind to ponder on your words, I must admit I read it a couple of times to fully appreciated it. I hope to see a longer more elaborated piece from you, best of luck. I see the darkness coming all is bleak... |
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branden726
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Hi, Welcome to pip my name is Branden and i used to be cool around here but hmmmm i went away for a long time hehe but im back with much love, i liked this poem 2 it was fun to read All you other poets beware my true feelings and poetry are about to flare! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! what a wonderful first post...i like it. nice wordings with simple format...hope to see you read, share and reply more. =) |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its so nice to have you here w/us I enjoyed your first post..it was really good and im looking forward to reading more from you in the i hope near future...once again, welcome!ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Very well done. Welcome to PIP. Can't say as I understand this completely, but it sounds good from my corner of the world. Seems you already know someone around here huh? Ain't love grand?  I look forward to more. Jenn "I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..." |
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A Square Paraboloid New Member
since 2001-11-06
Posts 8 |
Thank you everyone for your welcoming replies! They are appreciated greatly. I especially enjoyed all those smileys! And Theo, thank you for suggesting this place to me. I am glad I listened to you for once. A Square Paraboloid |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Firstly, I'd like to welcome you to PIP! ^_^ I hope you become addicted to here as much as some people here have *cough* ^^; Speaking of addictions... *realizes that has nothing to do with anything* Guh. Anyways...your poem. "a longing rests in calloused hands his churning reverie" A churning reverie...beautifully said. It's almost like a beautiful thing wrapped within something not quite as pretty, ne? ^_^; "a daylight myth whose summer's breach recalls those magma creams" I like your metaphor of daylight. I have to admit though...the "magma creams" part reminded me of ice cream...o_O; Oh dear... "he swoons below a silent breath and meets the light halfway."" I'm trying to interpret what this means...*thinks* A very abstract thought. I'm just trying to decipher it...*likes those kind of poems* ^_^ I think you did an extremely good job with this one, and I'm impressed as this is your first post. It's nice to see something different on teen. You definately have a spark! I look forward to seeing more from you. By the way, I like your name. ^___^ hehehe. ++ Leah ++ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Great first poem I really liked it keep up the great work. Lauren |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Hey I really liked your work, hope to read more soon "The feelings are replaced, And the words have all decayed, But it's another day ,it's another day" - My Vitriol "The gentle art of choking" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed your first poem and surely hope for more. The style was much different than usual, but very well taken. I liked it. Welcome to passions. check your mail for a special message. Dopey_Dope/Moderator  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!! I'm really glad that you decided to post this, because I liked it alot!! Hope to see more from you!! ~*Nikki*~ ~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~ |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
tanya this was wonderful!..but i had no idea what you were talking about  . perhaps if i read it over and over and over again i might begin to understand..  i loved the imagery you used though- very vivid ( but too complex for the three hardworking dust particles in my skull  )oh and my manners have begun to kick in:   Welcome Girly! i REALLY REALLY hope you stay and share more. YOU'RE GOOD! |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
How did u get that colored writing in there?! i cant figure that out... anyways I like you rfirst post mucho! I LuV 2 fReAk out saLEpeEpZ. ThEy AsK me If tHey CaN heLp Me, & I sAy,'HaVe U gOT NEthINg Id like?'TheN thEy aSk mE wuT sIZe I sAy "X-tr MedIuM" |
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