How Do You Live After Divorce? - Dirtied Dolls

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fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

0 posted 2001-10-19 11:30 PM

We glance into the streets of some unknown
place somewhere where there's nice looking people
living in their nice looking houses all furnished
nicely, with sweet green looking lawns topping
off the place like icing covering the doughy depths
of a wedding cake surrounded in cobwebs and
seated on a platter somewhere in a doll's house, forgotten.

We can't help but notice the monotony of it all,
but ah! what's this? a child trying to ride his bike
and falling on the ground and crying out to his
father like an injured dove crying in distress.

Do we see the daddy come to rescue him?
O! Yes, yes, he comes to whisk the kid
away like a great eagle using its gigantic
wings to cover and protect an injured
child.

Everything is nice, and the dove is protected
by the two parents who scream at eachother
and smash things and never listen to their
son telling them to stop fighting about
who knows what.

The dirt in those pale faces runs deep.
I can see it.
Can't you?

But alas, tip them over so they can
ignore it for a little while longer.
Tip the dolls over for me, please;
their eyes won't stop glaring at me
and their lying lips are decayed from
such long sessions of speaking frenzy.

It's time to go to bed.
And then in sleep we can
live our lives again
and then wake up
and be son
without
father, and mother
without
son again.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

[This message has been edited by fractal007 (edited 10-19-2001).]

holatuwol
Member

since 2001-04-27

Posts 72
California, USA

1 posted 2001-10-22 04:15 PM

The narrative and the ending definitely get two thumbs up. The strange sarcasm in the middle regarding everything seems to be what sets this poem apart from many other poems (like the *coughlovecough* poems), and at the same time puts it in close association with poems which are also blatantly sarcastic regarding society and everything about it.

I cannot honestly say that I know what this poem is about... yet I can say that I enjoyed it. ^_^ There could be another level of subtlety added to make the poem twist at the end, which would somehow make the effect of it stronger, but as it is, the effect is still neat and fascinating, and the ideas presented something that many people can relate to. ^_^ If I were to change anything, I'd just make it more subtle... beyond that, nice flow, rebounding echo, which is perfect for the way you put things together. ^_^ Thanks for the read!

- holatuwol

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

2 posted 2001-10-22 08:29 PM

this poem/narrative is amazing...there are so many in the world who this is so true for, you expressed the emotions of the whole experience so well. great job

me

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