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Teen Poetry #5
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forbidden love
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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forbidden love |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
A starlight of love where none was before, feelings of passion have opened the door Images of chance and thoughts I dare keep to myself and keep it a low affair A stolen kiss leaves desire for more but is not accpeted by others and leaves my heart sore Secret rendevous when time does permit reviving my pounding heart just bit by bit Hopeless aspirations and empty dreams makes it hard impossible, it seems Until we meet again I ache for the healing kiss my secret lover, you are the one I miss... "Tell me why you cry" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jessica Lynn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
I think this was pretty good, I've been in this position myself once or twice... can I make a suggestion? I thought it MIGHT flow a tiny bit better if in the line.. "and keep it a low affair" you took out the "it" I know that sounds odd but it might work better, but whatever ya think! Good job |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I really, really liked it... no complaints here. This kind of situation is horrible.. best of luck.  There are always answers as long as you're open enough to accept the answers you were not looking for. |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
I like it a lot!! beautifully done. Charisma |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Oooh mysterious! Long time no see...what's new? Bel |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
sad situation....I hope you don't have to keep it a secret for long.....very well written  |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
O0ooOo..dangerous, i like danger Been awhile Jes..miss ya! Keep posting*dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Oohhh, good! I like this one a lot, you've got good flow and rhythm going here. The message is great too, good expression! If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Jess  nice to see you posting again I just wish you would be as active as before again Why is this relationship so secretive? Remind me to ask you that when we talk outside of pip again thanks for sharing keep it up là où est mon amour? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nice to see you posting, I really liked this one. Very well done  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Sounds so scandelous and romantic!!! Reminds me of one of those old fashioned love stories full of lust and passion...nice job! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Forbidden love: That's the worst kind!! I hope that it's not "forbidden" for long. ~*Nikki*~ ~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~ |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Oh this is really neat! It sounded like a fairy tale. I love it! Theo |
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