Jester's Crown (My threshold)

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Knight of Secrecy
Member

since 2001-10-12

Posts 113
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2001-10-19 03:33 PM

Jester's Crown

What should I feel towards you?
you condemm me for loving you
a faded memory of a false truth
why? lie for every second while it became true

was it a thrill ride for you?,
riding the wave of my tears
through the cliff's in my eyes
were all the lies, truths to you?

ok this is a new style for me, I'm not liking it that much but, here it is! comments are greatly welcomed.

-CM.

[This message has been edited by Knight of Secrecy (edited 10-19-2001).]

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

1 posted 2001-10-19 05:30 PM

I think this was well done, I liked these lines best...

"was it a thrill ride for you?,
riding the wave of my tears
through the cliff's in my eyes"

good job,
Ali

AngelShell
Member

since 2000-03-01

Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...

2 posted 2001-10-20 01:28 AM

I liked it...It definately felt free...if you know what I mean, you didn't restrict it to anything yet it flowed nicely.

It was a good read.

~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

3 posted 2001-10-20 01:28 PM

This wasnt bad at all Carlos, keep up the work.

Regina

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

4 posted 2001-10-20 01:34 PM

I like it!!!!

Charisma

K. Rebel
Junior Member

since 2001-10-21

Posts 40
San Juan, PR

5 posted 2001-10-21 07:30 PM

This is good carlos

especially when you know who you mean by it

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

6 posted 2001-10-22 06:39 PM

Hmmm... I think I like it a lot! Your writing is so great, it just makes me want to cry! Keep it up!

If you define cowardice as running away, tripping and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.

rolly_polly
Junior Member

since 2001-10-10

Posts 41
puerto rico

7 posted 2001-10-23 05:00 PM

Hey! Carlos you are a very talented writer and although i liked this poem i dont think it's the best work i've seen from you...but all in all it was a good read

~parallel universe~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

8 posted 2001-10-23 08:29 PM

This was amazing actually. I know exactly how this feels man. I have been through this same situation and it just blows my mind that you managed to express what I felt at the time. Very well done here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

9 posted 2001-10-23 10:56 PM

were all the lies, truths to you?

a poet once told me that she hated poems ending in questions cuz they left her feeling sumwhat wistful. this is the first poem ive read in here thats ended in aquestion, and to be frank i liked it carlos. youve got my stamp of apporval...keep writing, poet....

"......",said the wise mute.

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