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Reflection of Darkness
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Reflection of Darkness |
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Knight of Secrecy Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113San Juan, Puerto Rico |
ok here is a long one. Reflections of light, how would you plee? what would you say if the darkness gets to you Reflection of Smoke, where will you go, how would you live if the wind blows threw you Reflection of life, what will you do when you find no more delight Reflection of your shade where would you hide when the darkness adds to you Reflection of wind, where will you go if the rain wets your wings Reflection of Love where would you stay if the love parts from you Reflection of Water drown my sorrow in your sea of pain Reflection of you what made you mine is gone from you and killed my proof Stop making me dream of you Reflection of thought what is your story for the sickly to explain your sealed eyes upon me. Reflection of memory what will you have when your life fades Reflection of time where would you stop when the clock dies and takes you too Reflection of refletion who will you be when time changes you Reflection of Darkness Guilty as charged When the light came, I faded into hatred, Reflecion of hate camp in me for my love has parted Reflection of Fire burn my offering, burn my life in your fire of life Reflection of Death walk me threw the valley and threw the bodies and take my last breath Reflection of me, where would you go?, when you find me dead and your still alive? [This message has been edited by Knight of Secrecy (edited 10-17-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Carlos Machado - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rolly_polly Junior Member
since 2001-10-10
Posts 41puerto rico |
WOAH!  i love this, what an excellent poem, i can totally relate.i love how deep you get on this one and love the format.  Keep em coming!  ~parallel universe~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is really good, but I do believe a little changes and it can become a great poem. Thanks for sharing, keep it up hi Sweets/puff puff/bubbles  , Lizzy  , Jesa  , Ina  , Allysa  , Marie  , Cherish  , Jenn , Minna  , Chelsea  , Leah  , Kimmie  , Ashley  , Smurfy  , Stace  , Alexia  , PG01  , Alyssa  , AP87  , Kamie  , Kari  , Nan  , Sea  , Javi  , Zu  , Lml  , Albertia  , Linc  , Jesse  , Sky  , Kris , |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was wonderful!!! Anbsolutely over the top kinda piece ya got here..nice job! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I think the poem rocked. I think some of the changes acire might have thought of, and if not then hey...im thinkin of them....are punctuation. Sometimes it helps out the flow and in a poem like this I think it would add a whole lot. Besides that I can't really pound my brain for any other form of changing it. ANyhow, the poem rocked regardless. You write very passionately and that's something I admire. Well done. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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