I spy with my......... - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2001-05-31 03:00 PM

The weakest eye

The weakest eye
renders vision beyond the cradle's horizon.
Filtering nothing,
the knowledge stores
bless both light and disease,
to caress this uncensored climate.

The weakest eye
stays unshielded to the darning
needle, no thread of deceit
can suture its witness,
embracing ebullition experience
regardless of mendacity and misery.

The weakest eye
blossomed from virginity.
Cynicism and hatred; these humanitarian
burdens press poison on its pristine pupil.
In summer serene the sun sheds,
for the sight, an unbiased dawn.

The weakest eye
paints a tapestry secretly
memory ingrained binds
all vibrant vessels, as children
touching, never to break the barriers of intimacy.
Sorrow to the skulk locking the eye in solidarity.

-----------
warning: this has been a repost from corner pub

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

1 posted 2001-05-31 03:12 PM

A Thought-provoking and well constructed piece. Enjoyed the read.

Poeminister

theLadypoet
Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 97
Or USA

2 posted 2001-05-31 03:44 PM

a Godiva of poetry

theLadypoet

"A woman is like a tea bag, you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water..." Eleanor Rooevelt

Watersign6
Senior Member

since 2001-05-25

Posts 823
Hurricane,WV

3 posted 2001-05-31 03:45 PM

woohooo! way to go Brian

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2001-05-31 04:23 PM

brian--I thought you didn't know the way to Serendipity.

SilentSongs
Junior Member

since 2001-05-31

Posts 43
Mist of Time

5 posted 2001-05-31 04:45 PM

A very multi-faceted work, well worth a number of readings. You expand the metaphor in quiet almost unnoticable ease.

"The past my prison, confined in solitary voiceless penance."

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

6 posted 2001-05-31 06:26 PM

Poeminister, thank you for your wonderful comments

theLadypoet, checking dictionary OH thank you very much that is the first time I heard the word godiva used in connection with my poems both me and my ego approve.

Watersign, thanks for the funky dance.

Martie, I don't but I guess I wandered here by accident. maybe all roads lead to Serendipity. Thanks for reading and replying.

SilentSongs, thank you for your very kind and generous words. Time to find myself some humble pie to keep my ego grounded.

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-05-31 06:59 PM

The weakest eye
paints a tapestry secretly
memory ingrained binds
all vibrant vessels, as children
touching, never to break the barriers of intimacy.
Sorrow to the skulk locking the eye in solidarity.
=====================

there is NADA weak about your poetic vision nor the imagery you define for us with your words...
and the only "warning" your poetry need come with is...
bring your dictionary and an open mind..and prepare to learn and grow ...]
(oh yeah...and maybe one to BYOT)
( bring your own tylenol)

hehe
very cool poem Bri-gator..youre too cool for school.
later
eve-a-gator
jm

I'm hanging on your every word
Even if you dont want to speak tonite
It's alright
I'm sitting outside heaven's door
listening to you breathe

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

8 posted 2001-05-31 07:41 PM

This seems a dichotomy....but a keeper, for constant review,

I feel as if I've slightly opened a Pandora's box...

just before the whoosh

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

9 posted 2001-06-01 02:40 PM

Jan wow Phew your comments have blown me away
gone into super blush mode. thank you you are far too kind

Karilea, woops I forgot to put on the sign "do not open till X-mas" thanks for reading and replying

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

10 posted 2001-06-01 06:32 PM

Sometimes when I read your work I feel like Im painting by numbers next to Michealangelo, this is one of those times, you paint words with ease and breath life into an empty page. You guessed it im envious, much enjoyed.

Regards,
Olias.

Lady Ollyne
Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 337
East Coast

11 posted 2001-06-01 09:11 PM

The weakest eye
stays unshielded to the darning
needle, no thread of deceit
can suture its witness,

Sir Brian,
Impressive beyond
my strongest views,
are your words that expand
and produce my imaged world tonight.

In awe,
Lady Ollyne

"O, learn to read what silent love hath writ:
To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit"...Shakespeare

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

12 posted 2001-06-02 02:21 PM

Olias, phew words like this will turn me into a complete Megalomaniac (god help us all then). Thank for your far far too kind words. "breath life into an empty page" those mean more to me than you may know, as a poet it is what I strive for. Glad that you enjoyed the read. AH God you have me blushing.. ok thank you again.

Lady Ollyne, we each have our own visions our own perspective. Yours is a valid and as important as anyone elses. THank you though for your generous response.

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

13 posted 2001-06-02 05:43 PM

Young man, this is an excellent metaphor and as Aristotle said "metaphor is the genius of all good poetry" or something like that

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

14 posted 2001-06-03 06:13 AM

Kathleen, phew thanks for your very generous comments, and i would not be one to argue with Aristole

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

Cerenity
Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 2637
Escondido-California

15 posted 2001-06-03 06:31 PM

Hi Brian,

I do so love the words you use in your poetry, this is another for the works of art folder, keep on writing these beautys sweet friend,

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

16 posted 2001-06-03 06:35 PM

Hey Brian!      Great poem my friend!  Love this part...

               "The weakest eye
                 blossomed from virginity.
                 Cynicism and hatred; these humanitarian
                 burdens press poison on its pristine pupil.
                 In summer serene the sun sheds,
                 for the sight, an unbiased dawn."

Great writing!

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

17 posted 2001-06-04 01:52 PM

Cerenity, thank you for your wonderful response.

Ethome, THank you sir.

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.