Just you (my attempt at a rictameter)

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Alan
Senior Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 1499
right next door

0 posted 2001-05-25 01:17 PM

Just You
Make me quiver
Turns my mind to jello
Can’t think of anything but you
My world does revolve around you alone
My heart belongs only to you
As does my love for you
All I want is
Just you

icyheart
may 2001

P.S. I do know what is wrong but I still like it.

[This message has been edited by Alan (edited 05-25-2001).]

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

1 posted 2001-05-25 01:32 PM

I dont carewhats wrong I like it too...this is lovely Alan

Alan
Senior Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 1499
right next door

2 posted 2001-05-25 01:34 PM

Thank you Paula..

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

3 posted 2001-05-25 01:47 PM

You don't ask for comments, which I could give, just one....

but since you don't, I will not, and just say,

I liked...

Alan
Senior Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 1499
right next door

4 posted 2001-05-25 01:52 PM

If you have a comment go ahead I don't mind
it can only help....thank you for reading it

Watersign6
Senior Member

since 2001-05-25

Posts 823
Hurricane,WV

5 posted 2001-05-25 02:44 PM

wow Alan, i think it is great an really like it too,nice to see another poet from WV.

Cheryl Flemming
Member

since 2000-09-14

Posts 102

6 posted 2001-05-25 04:26 PM

I have never written one of these but I think this is wonderful.Very beautiful!

latin passion
Senior Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 576

7 posted 2001-05-25 05:09 PM

Really don't know if I could write one of these. But either way I like it.

let our hands communicate what's in our heart. A Wisp of a brush...

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

8 posted 2001-05-25 05:27 PM

Looks good to me, but I'm not an expert, who cares, it's good and I love it.

Titia

Alan
Senior Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 1499
right next door

9 posted 2001-05-25 05:44 PM

Watersign6...thank you..glad to have a neighbor here
Cheryl, Latin passion..they are fairly simple to do...just have a couple or rules

Titia...tank you for your kind comments

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

10 posted 2001-05-26 10:20 PM

yes..have felt this way before! lol

liked this one ALAN!

hugs, g

the boy said, my name's johnny
and it might be a sin
but i'll take your bet
you're gonna regret
i'm the best there's ever been!
-cdaniels

Alan
Senior Member

since 2000-09-12

Posts 1499
right next door

11 posted 2001-05-26 10:26 PM

dgvarner..thank you for reading and commenting..everyone has felt this way once. I am glad you liked it

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