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Open Poetry #14
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a bit of peach
| Open Poetry #14 |
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a bit of peach |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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my spirit new without a dance in one heeled shoe? It shows in every hobbled step... without you? I am quite inept. than I seem. I am the peach desiring cream chill of spoon ladled dream solitaire of nightly scream. how I must be to you I be a secret kept. A bit of peach bereft of beach bobbing in the river--Lethe. |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I like this a lot, and the second stanza really got me with the image. Smoothly done, and even that praise isn't good enough for this. Love your work, lady. I hope you are having a good night. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Celeste..........I..I w..wonder...if "I am more simple than I seem. I am the peach desiring cream chill of spoon ladled dream solitaire of nightly scream." could I pour that cream over ya....I mean I could be very helpful. I had to catch you in this verse before you got bobbing in the river of oblivion! Great poem! The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks Temp...(It ain't easy being a peach!  ) and ETHOME? I swear I was gonna try to sleep now! GROAN....oh the misery of it all..  ...thank you, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
It shows in every hobbled step... without you? I am quite inept. ======================== mirrors baby...mirrors... and yer peaches and creme with raspberries drizzled on top *winkie*  she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
interesting mix of images... not at all sure how the last stanza ties together with peach and beach... but I enjoyed the read and am probably missing sommething...so it isn't a reflection on your writing that I don't understand the ending |
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Tovi Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 168 |
serentiy, you are so very talented. I've enjoyed your writing so much. The imagery in this is stunning. Not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. |
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Secret Whisper Member
since 2001-01-25
Posts 298Through the Looking Glass |
"bobbing in the river--Lethe."-- loved the reference to Dante. Excellent write. I like the meter used in it. "We also know how cruel the truth often is, and we wonder whether delusion is not more consoling."- Henri Poincare (1854-1912) |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Miss Peach, you have done it again. This is too perfect, the flow, the words, the images, the thoughts behind it. All much enjoyed. Sandra |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
I must say, I love your style!!  All writing comes |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Wonderful writing as always, serenity. Nicely done. Poeminister |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
It shows in every hobbled step... without you? I am quite inept. this piece is utterly SUPERB the above section shows so PERFECTLY how out of sync/balance/form one is when they lose their 'left heel' |
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esclandre Member
since 2001-06-11
Posts 62Northern California |
I think I see what you're saying here. I like this - though I did have to laugh at the end, which didn't seem fitting somehow with the rest of the poem. Just my input! Esclandre |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
JM...thanks me lovely! lovin' the raspberry tea too (YEP....got me some!) ooh, the things I type...you need to try that stuff with mardi gras water! lol...thanks luv...with hugs.CH...obviously many have problems with the ending...and sigh of sighs, endings in life are equally confusing and quite often have nothing to do with either the beginning or the middle...and somehow they always catch me off guard too. Tovi...thank you. I do so enjoy your work as well. I'm gratified that you seem to understand. SW...Let me hug you, not only did you understand the ending? you seem to like it! LOL...Drinks are on me! Sandra? MISS PEACH? rofl...OKAY okay, but you may call me "fuzzy" love ya lady!LW, my friend, I have missed you! I do hope all is well with you and I thank you so much for reading!!! Big Hugs. Poe---I do thank you...yer a doll! Virginia, I do so appreciate you! Thank you, dearheart! Hugs to you as well! escalandre--I'm glad you found some humor in the ending. Maybe someday I can too. As always, my gratitude goes out to the forum! Hugs and love to all! |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
I loved this stanza!: I am more simple than I seem. I am the peach desiring cream chill of spoon ladled dream solitaire of nightly scream. Great flow of spirit here! Corinne |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thank you, Corinne. I have been silently enjoying your work for quite a long time---love the the slow metaphors which turn into classic allegories...THANK YOU! |
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