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Open Poetry #14
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In the brightness of morning
| Open Poetry #14 |
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In the brightness of morning |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
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In the brightness of morning So it is with this moment you wake from your sleeping, you greet me with enormity and I, tiny with life dwell within thoughts you scatter and blow, with calls of gossip from the gallah. They rosy the complexion of trees bound and obese with envy, spewing yellow leaves, bronzing the grass resentfully. So early, and already suffering is at play. What will there be to do in the middle of the day? Sipping my tea, listening, watching I feel the nature of your bleeding, heavily overcast in the brightness of morning. [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 06-11-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is lovely verse, I truly enjoyed reading! Kathleen Blake |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
So early, and already suffering is at play. What will there be to do in the middle of the day? Sipping my tea, listening, watching I feel the nature of your bleeding, heavily overcast in the brightness of morning. ======================== hard to define the way this effects me... like a whispered intensity... a ray of warmth...with an edge of haunted... (if that make sense) very cool Poem DA. she said I dont know why you ever would lie to me |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
DA never a bad poem from you I like it o yuh |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow! Maree...such images...stark yet soft as heart...great writing! |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Maree- Hi sweets. Been a while i know since i've replied to your work. #1 so sorry about that...secondly this is absolutely beautiful. as always you create such vivid images in teh readers mind, leaving us all breathless for more. really loved how you conveyed such emotion in this by contrasting different elements. this is really an excellent piece of art my dear...you should be proud of it!! take care. love ya. amy  "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
They rosie the complexion of trees bound and obese with envy, spewing yellow leaves, bronzing the grass resentfully. ... wonderful... loved the amazing imagery... obese with envy wow... regards to you Maree, Sudhir |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well hon - what can I say? Words fail me - cept for ones like 'beautiful' and 'wow' and things lol. I like the contrasts...the paradoxes - they're what make the poem. Well done dear!  KIt is to do with tree-ferns: |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I feel the openess of these lines ....... "What will there be to do in the middle of the day? Sipping my tea, listening, watching I feel the nature of your bleeding, heavily overcast in the brightness of morning." I really like that part! Good poem! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very nice! good work here..and one which I re-read a couple of times just to savor... |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
powerful and raw images, emotionally charged yet written with an air of beauty. Loved the poem. "Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life". Terry Pratchett |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
My sista, your writing is like etched crystal...always beautiful and sparkles with perfect clarity. Love your work...wish I knew how to do this...(i must rhyme, all the time..blah!  ) |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
maree-- wow... dark and disturbing and beautiful. very well done, maree! jenni |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
This is wonderful Mmy. Everyone who reads this can get something totally different from it... I close my eyes and I can see the sun climbing higher into a sky that grows less clear as morning progesses, turning golden leaves that danced in the wind into spots of rust on green grass.... not hard to imagine the smell of rain in the air and to hear the sound that is peculiar to those first few rain drops falling on dried leaves..........those are the images this poem gifted me with anyway,, Thanks for them dear......you did a .fantastic job with this |
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esclandre Member
since 2001-06-11
Posts 62Northern California |
Wow! I like the way you step outside of normal grammar and usage to cajole the language to meet your desires. It creates quite an affect of gossamer beauty. Very nice! Esclandre |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Maree, this was so very beautiful......Sue Suetang |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Irish Rose, glad you enjoyed it hon JM, I thank you for your always lovely reply Walty thank you m'friend, never a bad poem from you either  Martie, thank you so very much for the "Wow: Miss Amy, Thank you my dear I do appreciate your comment Sudi, thanks for the "wow" m'friend Tiggs, words fail you? pah, never! LOL. Thanks hon, I am glad you liked ethome, I thank you very much Cpat Hair, Thank you Brian I thank you so very much for your lovely reply Hey Sista, wow quite a compliment you pay me hon, I thank you and I wish I knew how to do the things that you do! Rhyme on hon, Rhyme on! Jenni, Hi... I thank you for your lovely reply and for taking the time to read, I do appreciate it so Ahhh Jamie, I am glad you enjoyed it Jamie. Although you imagined rain, there was no rain in this poem, but like you said anyone can get something totally different, which is nice I thank you.esclandre, gossamer beauty, wow ... thank you Sue, thank you so much I am glad you thought so. Thank you al lvery much for your lovely replies and for taking the time to read Maree. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy |
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furlong Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129 |
maree i agree with jenni! ..... no, lol, honestly i do! it is indeed dark and disturbing yet beautiful. the opening lines i especially liked, but i'm not entirely sure about the greeting with "enormity" line ...lol..maybe you would care to elucidate?! F |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
may i ask what is a gallah?? i ditto Severn..thats the reason why i like this musing... |
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