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Tormented
| Open Poetry #13 |
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Tormented |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Tormented by your touch, Wanting, wanting oh so much, Frazzled by your kiss, Most of All this I'll miss, Confused by this longing, torn into, Forever forlorn, without you, Didn't mean to dive right in, I know to love you is a sin, Somewhere I lost my inner soul, Loving you has taken a toll, Cost me more than I'll admit, Especially when my heart I sent, Now I can love no other. [This message has been edited by Rosebud1229 (edited 04-05-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
This is so heart- felt.....great writing!  SEA |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
The title says it all. "Tormented" "Loving you has taken a toil, Cost me more than I'll admit," How many have paid the price? |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
I would wager too many have paid this price. It is sad in a way that in today's disposable society, all too often we give up on things far too easily. If we would just all put forth a little more effort I bet the divorce rate wouldn't be so high here. Ok, forgive my rambling! Well said. All writing comes |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Didn't mean to dive right in, I know to love you is a sin, Somewhere I lost my inner soul, Loving you has taken a toil, Cost me more than I'll admit, Especially when my heart I sent, Now I can love no other. ================================== Ahhhh yes...you have defined torment of the heart well RB .... its does take its toll... like flying thru flames... but yet we will do it everytime. very cool poem. It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
How eloquently sad RB...you tugged at the heart in this piece, you've shown so well that even if we know the love we feel shouldn't be....it's just as strong...if not stronger...Beautifully sad write RB~ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
RB, A rose is a rose is a rose. What ever that means. Enjoyed. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Mirrors mirrors everywhere! Wrote my heart here! |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
I found this piece to be powerful....brilliant writing!! Nathan |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i like it alot maybe change "a toil" to just toll but i love it anyway |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
thanks everyone, thanks wayoutwalt, especially, I was struggling with toil or toll when writing it, and your right it fits better. |
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