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Open Poetry #13
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Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina

0 posted 2001-04-05 09:25 AM


Tormented by your touch,
Wanting, wanting oh so much,
Frazzled by your kiss,
Most of All this I'll miss,
Confused by this longing, torn into,
Forever forlorn, without you,


Didn't mean to dive right in,
I know to love you is a sin,
Somewhere I lost my inner soul,
Loving you has taken a toll,
Cost me more than I'll admit,
Especially when my heart I sent,
Now I can love no other.



[This message has been edited by Rosebud1229 (edited 04-05-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Rose - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-04-05 09:28 AM


This is so heart- felt.....great writing!   SEA
inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
2 posted 2001-04-05 11:24 AM


The title says it all.

"Tormented"

"Loving you has taken a toil,
Cost me more than I'll admit,"


How many have paid the price?

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-04-05 11:27 AM


I would wager too many have paid this price.  It is sad in a way that in today's disposable society, all too often we give up on things far too easily.  If we would just all put forth a little more effort I bet the divorce rate wouldn't be so high here.  Ok, forgive my rambling!  Well said.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-04-05 11:37 AM


Didn't mean to dive right in,
I know to love you is a sin,
Somewhere I lost my inner soul,
Loving you has taken a toil,
Cost me more than I'll admit,
Especially when my heart I sent,
Now I can love no other.
==================================

Ahhhh yes...you have defined torment of the heart well RB ....
its does take its toll...
like flying thru flames...
but yet we will do it everytime.
very cool poem.

It's such a clever innocence with which you show myself to me
As if you know how it feels to never be who you wanted to be
~jackson browne~

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
5 posted 2001-04-05 12:17 PM


How eloquently sad RB...you tugged at the
heart in this piece, you've shown so well
that even if we know the love we feel
shouldn't be....it's just as strong...if not
stronger...Beautifully sad write RB~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2001-04-05 12:24 PM


RB,
A rose is a rose is a rose. What ever that means. Enjoyed.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2001-04-05 01:55 PM


Mirrors mirrors everywhere! Wrote my heart here!
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
8 posted 2001-04-05 02:01 PM


I found this piece to be powerful....brilliant writing!!

Nathan

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
9 posted 2001-04-05 04:11 PM


i like it alot maybe change "a toil" to just toll but i love it anyway
Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
10 posted 2001-04-05 09:49 PM


thanks everyone, thanks wayoutwalt, especially, I was struggling with toil or toll when writing it, and your right it fits better.
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