Step Into the Rain--inspired by Auguste...

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VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-04-01 04:56 PM

thanks, Auguste for helping me work through a current bit of agonizing 'heart-pain.'

Step Into the Rain
Virginia Salter

a pain is scratching at my heart
bleeding clearly through my tears
it seems that I must go apart
to seek soothing of my fears

should I step into the rain
where no one there could see
the shower of my pain descend
to reveal the candid me

then, perhaps, as tears do fall
amid the rain of heaven
the sun or Son will shine on me
and erase the ache of leaven

resulting in a rainbow
of colors heaven-sent
to guide and light my way
all pain and ache then spent

© April 1, 2001

[This message has been edited by VAS (edited 04-01-2001).]

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

1 posted 2001-04-01 05:09 PM

                                              then, perhaps, as tears do fall
                                                amid the rain of heaven
                                             the sun or Son will shine on me
                                              and erase the ache of leaven

Very nice, Vas.  Really liked "the sun or Son will shine on me".
Nice read.

Mike

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA

2 posted 2001-04-01 05:24 PM

Wonderfully quiet write. I usually read poems out loud, and I realized that I did so in whispers.

"I am not now that which I have been."

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

3 posted 2001-04-01 05:25 PM

Sanctuary much, Mike, glad you enjoyed this piece.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

4 posted 2001-04-01 05:29 PM

Thanks, much, Julian, that you did so touches my heart.

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

5 posted 2001-04-02 04:03 AM

VAS,

That I could inspire you is a most sincere compliment and I thank you. This poem is so well constructed, so real in the feelings expressed. I have to say that I'm impressed. I applaud you. Such nice work here. Take care and thank you for sharing this.

Michael

Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

Agust P
Member

since 2000-12-29

Posts 157

6 posted 2001-04-02 08:01 AM

I enjoyed this one, open and honest, thanks! AP

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

7 posted 2001-04-02 11:28 AM

Thank you both! Thank you Michael for your kind words at my reaping from your wonderful idea.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2001-04-02 06:29 PM

VAS--I very much enjoyed reading this well done poem, though sad..the ending is full of hope...could it be the sun is made form that?

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

9 posted 2001-04-02 06:44 PM

Yes, those golden rays of the sun can often bring hope, but with the Son, there is no doubt!

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

10 posted 2001-04-03 06:14 AM

I felt that scratch with the very first line.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

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