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Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2001-03-31 08:38 PM

Betrayal

I can fathom
the art of betrayal
from a fairweather pal
even, by a lover,
but, never from
the heart of my existence,
never from my mother,
the bleeding of my soul
is enough
to show
how low
you'd go
to slash this bond
to appease his thirst
the wool over my eyes
suffocate
while immersed
in your betrayal,
you'd slit my throat
for kicks,
it seems
the hand that rocked the cradle
adds the pierce to my screams,
my deepest adoration
and sincerest of love
was not presented on a
polished silver platter
to keep your devotion
or honesty in check,
we're the jokers, the fools
in the deck,
and I'm the one
who's at the mercy
of this lose-lose fight,
I'm the sacrifice
on war's flame,
you've done your crooked knight
a favour in a jaded game
that never should have been,
you've set motion to this dominio-effect
of internal weeping
eradicating the dreams of us,
too bad that the pedestal
I placed you upon
crumbled
with a gust of wind
when he rode into town,
heartless, you refuse to
dust the cob webs
from your womb,
it's my love you distain,
release me from this tomb
of strain,
dull the spider's fang
from my flesh,
you're the puppet
asphyxiating my spirit
with the strings
he controls,
worthless, I am,
numb of breath,
I welcome dead,
I trusted you,
that's where I went wrong
I layed down the spikes upon my bed,
you were my friend, you were strong,
how could you do this to me,
crack the foundation of our home?
betrayal of wicked degree

~*By Melissa Honeybee*~

[This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 03-31-2001).]

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

1 posted 2001-03-31 08:49 PM

Oh Melissa, this is so very sad and heartbreaking to read. I think this is the worst kind of betrayal one can suffer. I can feel your hurt and how deep it runs my friend. Please take care. ~hugs~

Lone Wolf

Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

2 posted 2001-03-31 09:15 PM

potent mix of love and hate there, well done!
Kethry

Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

3 posted 2001-04-02 08:09 PM

wow. . . Melissa, I just don't know where it all comes from. . .

powerful words. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-04-02 09:37 PM

betrayal is deadening

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

5 posted 2001-04-02 09:45 PM

I have to go along with Kethry....but very well written too.

jwesley

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

6 posted 2001-04-02 10:14 PM

Thank you all for reading this painful piece, yes, betrayal can deeply hurt the heart, but no scar hurts as much as the one caused by your best friend, your mother

Take care,
Melissa~

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

7 posted 2001-04-02 11:05 PM

The hurt comes across so strong, you did a great job telling it. Heart-rending
piece!

<*\\\><

I know not what the future holds,
but I know Who holds the future.

I don't question YOUR existance - GOD

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

8 posted 2001-04-02 11:19 PM

Wow, Melissa...this was mesmerizing. You have such vivid phrases throughout this poem..an amazing array of metaphors. I'm sorry it had to be written but, being so, you certainly did it well....

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

9 posted 2001-04-03 02:03 AM

Melissa ~ Having walked in these shoes, I can tell you that you did a great job of this poem if in fact it is just a poem. If you are writing out your heart, betrayal of a Mother is possibly the worst kind there is, I am 55, and my Mother's betrayal happened to me very young. She is dead now and I have still not been able to get to that place of forgivness, so I wish you luck. By writing out the anger and the pain you at least get to a place of acceptance. Great poem Melissa.

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

10 posted 2001-04-03 02:14 AM

Dear Melissa, This is heartbreaking. I don't know how old you are. Sometimes the young expect a perfection of a parent that is not theirs, but my heart hurts for you. Have you shown your mother this poem? Give her a chance,maybe it is not as it seems. Love, Joyce

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

11 posted 2001-04-04 06:58 PM

Rebecca, Michael, Sharon and Joyce - thank you for sharing from your heart to help mine

Take are,
Melissa~

Red-uni
Member

since 2000-07-30

Posts 192
Georgia, USA

12 posted 2001-04-05 02:48 PM

Awesome write. I was betrayed by my parents so I know this hurt, from deep inside. I am now fifty and still dealing with it, one day maybe I will be whole.

The very core of me feels the pain. Your poem said so much.
Red

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

13 posted 2001-04-05 04:06 PM

i do like the jokler line and all the ideas that went with it o yuh finely written from the heart

Destiny Nicole
Junior Member

since 2001-04-04

Posts 19
USA

14 posted 2001-04-06 08:31 PM

Melissa I don't know what to say except you cannot be more right on the subject. I too have been hurt this way because of the choices that I made. She did not think they were right but, in my opinion a mother should always stand by your side, and I can say now that I am a mother myself I will never hurt my children this way for it will never truely be healed.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

15 posted 2001-04-06 08:35 PM

Thank you for your support Red-Uni, Walt and Nicole - I adore my Mom, and I had to write this poem to release these intense emotions. This poem is not about bad choices that I have made, but rather choices that she made which hurt me deeply, but I still love her of course!

Take care,
Melissa~

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

16 posted 2001-04-06 08:56 PM

excellent writing.... terrific use of verbiage, metaphor, allusion....

seemed like a battle by mother and daughter for the same "him"... to me... almost.....an eerie feel to it.... and a baffling and VERY uncomfortable interpretation, to me...... clearly, as a reader, i may have misinterpreted but that's what i got from it and it was a painful read.... if i read something you didn't intend, just chalk it up to good writing which can leave interpretation wide open and rewarding..

as a piece of literature, it was very well done. if this is based on anything actual, whether my interpretation be way off base or not, my empathy to you

again, a well worked piece of art....

-There is no Devil. Just God when He drinks. - Tom Waits

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