CANDY....(another cinquain)

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Open Poetry #13

CANDY....(another cinquain)

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

0 posted 2001-03-31 04:30 PM

candy
sweet on my lips
as your bittersweet kiss
missed in this flavorless quiet
I suck

[This message has been edited by Packratmike (edited 04-01-2001).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2001-03-31 05:00 PM

You have me smiling, and laughing....and crying.....

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

2 posted 2001-03-31 05:07 PM

Thank you Sunshine.....that was the point.
When I did this, I had no idea what the final line would be and when it came to me I couldn't stop my bellylaffs. I surprised myself (or maybe I should say my muse did).

Mike

Panne415
Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 104
San Antonio

3 posted 2001-04-01 07:10 PM

Wow! Mike - I think you have this form down to the last "T" or in this case the last "k". I enjoyed this very much - good job. Thanks for pointing me to it. Panne

P.S. I corrected my cinquain - thanks again - now to correct in my files and in my paperwork.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-04-01 08:04 PM

well, I liked this one

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Packratmike
Senior Member

since 2001-02-25

Posts 632
California, USA

5 posted 2001-04-01 10:35 PM

Panne....Thank you, this actually ended quite differently from what I had intended. These little surprises seem to be happening to me a lot lately.

Thank you Kate. Glad you liked it.

Mike

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