»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #13
»
Love, Sometimes
| Open Poetry #13 |
|
Love, Sometimes |
|
|
PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Just one more word One more breath One more dirge That I might cheat death Sometimes in dreaming Time stops streaming I must be dreaming These thoughts conceiving Just one more wish One more night One more kiss To set things right Missing the ghost of you again Here you come again Back to where we begin This night will never end Just one more time One more day One more night Before I throw it away Sometimes in trying We both are left dying I hear you crying And vainly keep trying Guilty of expressionless crimes Both of us, sometimes |
||
| © Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved | |||
bslicker 
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
Wanting just one more... I like this... all the way thru.. Can you write me just one more.. library it goes. Bernie A  a day keeps the world 'G.Bernie Slicker |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A lady goes to take a break for a moment, comes back crying.... I enjoy snippets of thought patterns such as this.... well done Sir.... |
||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
"And vainly keep trying' Guilty of expressionless crimes Both of us, sometimes" favorite lines..... nicely done |
||
|
PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
ummmm bernie, thanks, i'll see if one more is in me somewhere... Sun, sun, sun...*L* remember, smile, smile, smile. |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I enjoyed your rhyme scheme very much but perhaps there was too much rhyme? Kathleen Blake |
||
|
PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
Kathleen, thanks, but is there such a thing as too much of a good thing? *S* Just kidding. You're right, this is just a little song of mine more than poem. |
||
|
Waseem Cheema Member
since 2001-03-16
Posts 369Pakistan |
"Just one more time One more day One more night Before I throw it away" is really a great and everyones desire. Ha Ha  I love to nice poetry. |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Just one more wish One more night One more kiss To set things right Missing the ghost of you again Here you come again Back to where we begin This night will never end Just one more time One more day One more night Before I throw it away Sometimes in trying We both are left dying I hear you crying And vainly keep trying Guilty of expressionless crimes Both of us, sometimes ============================ "Missing the ghost of you again Back to where we begin This night will never end" "Sometimes in trying We both are left dying" "Guilty of expressionless crimes Both of us, sometimes" you must be a mind reader as well as poet *S* and to answer Kathleen ... NO I personally cant ever have too much rhyme but to each his own.way cool song PK oh you speak to me in riddles |
||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
my computer screen has melted.....between yours and Janet's ........yes, I think you have been poking around in the secret places of my heart......( stop that...) This is fantastic! SEAIf I let you into my heart..... |
||
|
PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
I'll stop if you really, really want me too SEA. *S* Although this wasn't hot like Janet's. Now that was hot. |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
guilty always PK. . . excellent. . . ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
||
|
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
are you kidding?! Stop?! noooooooooooooooooooo |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...tho I miss the ghost of you, again, a tender smile to my face wends that your love was true, and then I miss the ghost of you, again |
||
|
Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
An interesting use of slant rhyme, Poetic Knight. Thanks for this. Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
