Birth Of Evening" Double Tanka

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Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2001-03-27 06:47 PM

Birth Of Evening

Sunblaze surrenders
to mysterious silence
stage is set for dusk
shadows swallow horizon
medallion of sky surceases
heavens tremble by defeat
clouds fade in envy of stars
moon hypnotizes...
darkness of heart doth prevail
cursed with disease of nightfall

~*By Melissa Honeybee*~

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

1 posted 2001-03-27 06:50 PM

as the sun sets. . . these words echo. . .

wonderful Melissa. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

2 posted 2001-03-27 07:00 PM

This is very musical Though I don't see the curse of nightfall. Rather the blessing. Peace comes. Joyce

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

3 posted 2001-03-27 09:01 PM

Wonderful images.

In the worst of times, let me drift beneath the cloak of Oblivion. I favor the night as it favors me.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2001-03-27 09:37 PM

"clouds fade in envy of stars"............wow, that is so pretty.....great job!

SEA

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

5 posted 2001-03-27 09:48 PM

This is a very lovely visage, Melissa... a great read..

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2001-03-28 07:11 AM

Melissa~
This is just awesome !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-03-28 10:34 PM

Sunblaze surrenders
to mysterious silence
stage is set for dusk
shadows swallow horizon
medallion of sky surceases
======================

Melis this is awesome imagery ...
the clever vocab choices and descriptive visuals you've chosen gave the imagery a force of power...you created the mood for nightfalls arrival. very cool

wonderful writing and mastery of this poetic format.

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

8 posted 2001-03-28 10:37 PM

Incredible description Melissa, and such wonderful phrasing ... each line is beautiful unto itself ... just lovely!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

9 posted 2001-03-28 10:56 PM

very nice.. like it a lot

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".

tradewind
Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 101

10 posted 2001-03-28 11:20 PM

beautiful wording
and descriptions

the picture is perfect

Nate Dogg
Senior Member

since 1999-11-15

Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton

11 posted 2001-03-28 11:20 PM

Powerful yet exquisite expression....brilliant poem!

Nathan

KokoStewartKoomoa
Senior Member

since 2000-12-04

Posts 580
Waikiki, Hawaii

12 posted 2001-03-29 01:19 AM

wonderfully exquisite imagery! whoo hooooo I loved this Melissa!

Passion,imagination
and intellect
running together...
Poetry in motion~~~

Aloha with
warmest regards, Koko

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