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Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

0 posted 2001-04-23 06:32 PM

Hard rain spills
From the eyes
Of drunken skies
Pretty little painted people scatter
Ducking for cover
Under makeshift
Umbrellas
Made of cardboard boxes
From Sears
Upper-class and street walkers
Soaked like store bought sponges
Inside the warm walls
They stand frozen
Laughing out loud
In perfect duplication
Of Musak's rendition
Of Ricky Martin "Shake your Bon Bon"
Looking out storefront windows
At the wet paper dolls
Flailing around like
Fresh caught trout
Gasping for water
But these fools
Are little too wet
For the tight white dresses
And silk suits
Bleeding bright colors
Make up running
The sky closes its mouth
Sun walks in
In regal fashion
Wet Soaked paper dolls
Stand in amazement
Like people who have
Never seen the likes of rain
Slowly mount their BMW's
And drive away
Senile old men
Sitting on the Bench
In front of Wards
Will talk of this night forever
To anymore bored enough to listen
But if you take a closer look
At the store mannequins
The smiles are etched little bigger
And some say their eyes
Now sparkle
At the street of fools
That entertained for free
Just a few nights ago.

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA

1 posted 2001-04-23 07:04 PM

The intended imagery held all the way through this piece, and I grasped at several to be my favorites. Finally this one stayed within my hands: "The sky closes its mouth"
You took me to that bench.

"I am not now that which I have been."

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

2 posted 2001-04-23 07:05 PM

Brad - you have outdone yourself... just when i think we cannot see any more talent grace these blue pages, you finally come to join us and now post this very fine piece of poetry... i love it love it love it!!! (oh, didjya know i love it?).... my favorite lines listed here.....

bravo!

quote:
Upper-class and street walkers
Soaked like store bought sponges

and....

Flailing around like
Fresh caught trout
Gasping for water

and....THESE BELOW.. some of the most awesome lines i have ever read

The sky closes its mouth
Sun walks in
In regal fashion

and....

Senile old men
Sitting on the Bench
In front of Wards
Will talk of this night forever
To anymore bored enough to listen

and.... a slambanggreat ending!

And some say their eyes
Now sparkle
At the street of fools
That entertained for free
Just a few nights ago.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2001-04-23 07:06 PM

yep, this is very cool....

I enjoyed this one

SEA

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

4 posted 2001-04-23 07:08 PM

Thank you all

PoeticaL
Member

since 2001-03-31

Posts 50

5 posted 2001-04-24 10:52 PM

ditto what doreen said and then some and oh by the way ...c'mere I want to hug you for being on my computer pages when I miss you

"I'm a junkyard full of false starts....Elliot Smith"

kitkat
Senior Member

since 2000-01-11

Posts 878
Nova Scotia

6 posted 2001-04-25 09:19 AM

You captured this moment very well. The image you created in my mind was very vivid. Thanks

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

7 posted 2001-04-25 10:19 AM

Brad, I e-mailed a response! This is too, too wonderful!

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

8 posted 2001-04-25 07:37 PM

Excellent, Brad, Excellent!
I especially liked "pretty little painted people scattered"
Vivid scene!

Krawdad
/:-}==
=#===

Secret Whisper
Member

since 2001-01-25

Posts 298
Through the Looking Glass

9 posted 2001-04-25 07:46 PM

Impecable imagery! You paint such an intimate picture for your reader. Bravo.

"I am not alive enough to kill myself." - Mary Ipal

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

10 posted 2001-04-25 07:53 PM

I found the title curious...the poem impressive! Enjoyed!

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

11 posted 2001-04-25 09:39 PM

Brad - I read this and then read it again. And amazing work!

BC

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

12 posted 2001-04-25 11:21 PM

Well shoot...for obvious reasons, I'm putting this in my library!

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant

since 2000-07-06

Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England

13 posted 2001-04-26 04:47 PM

!!!!! Excellent !!!!!
I am speechless....this had to be my favorite of yours, and I'm going to take Sunshine's lead and add it to my library right this minute!!! Great job!!!

Live...Love...Be grateful for both!!

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

14 posted 2003-02-26 04:59 PM

yes its me

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

15 posted 2004-04-21 03:48 AM

glad I came back for this!

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