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Open Poetry #13
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| Open Poetry #13 |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Replaced First, you say how you like me! Filled my mind most handsomely you liked my smile my laugh, my lilt and then, with a slight tilt of head, a nod, a grimace, you laid guilt upon my smile my laughter was too loud and you declined to greet me in laughter of kind but rather you would ask of me to tone it down, to a lesser degree. Well perhaps I was a bit too loud and perhaps my pleasure filled me with proud so I did what you bid me do, I became quieter for you. Then you said “you’ve so many friends! How you must be adored!” And I preened and giggled a bit I’d never had too many friends, I’ll gladly add some more! Then you said, “perhaps she’s not quite right for you, and this fellow, he’s really a friend?” and you got me to start to believe you knew how to pick them, and then my friends became a part of my past and you said “see, if they’d been real friends, their relationships would have last.” Well perhaps I was a bit too open and perhaps my friends didn’t need me, so when I did what you bid me do, I became less social for you. “You can do anything!” you said, you were so sure that I could aspire and my thoughts stirred to what I could say, or do or be and in my efforts hoped to make you happy then, “do you need to be away? Can’t you this evening stay home for once, for these things you do why you want it all, and the limelight, too?” so I gave up my desires of helping others, and quenched my fires of giving myself for the good of others and I cloistered my feelings so you I’d not bother for perhaps I was a bit too giving and perhaps my pleasures that gave reason for living was what you would not bid me do, so I became a hermit for you. And now you tell me that I have changed and your life has been rearranged, I’m not the woman you once adored, and you’re right! She was replaced by the clone you love more. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Lady In White - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed reading this...I suppose we will all eventually be replaced by clones...they could program in the items they like or replace us with someone more perfect to suit their exact requirements...of course some people like us just as we are...James |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
lady...i love you unconditionally...hugs...helen |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
How I love this one...but "she" is there...never replaced...and one day? she's gonna wake up pissed!  Great work here! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Lady, you have no idea how much I can relate to the words of this poem. . . It's absolutely amazing. . . excellent. . . thank you for sharing. . .  ---------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Heavy! Shameful! Unforgivable! (Him, not her) Heart rending .... [This message has been edited by Interloper (edited 04-16-2001).] |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I really enjoyed the rhymed intervals in this verse Lady. This had a lovely flow which complimented your powerful message. Very nicely written! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
I know how this person feels atfer they get you the way they think they want you they don't want you any more. Wonderful read. Enjoyed it alot |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Thank you all for taking a part of this, and making it yours. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
When we hear such words - the flags should go up - sadly - we learn such things too late or too slowly - What can I say those before me have not already said? An incredible write m'lady |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
This is as if written from my mouth, my Lady. Hits me on many a level. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
*Laughing at Serenity*, and yes when you do wake up and realize no one makes you do that as it was a choice - you make a new one and vacate the premises, as nothing will ever change...great insight on this poem, just a fantastic read, and writen beautifully. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
so I gave up my desires of helping others, and quenched my fires of giving myself for the good of others and I cloistered my feelings so you I’d not bother for perhaps I was a bit too giving and perhaps my pleasures that gave reason for living was what you would not bid me do, so I became a hermit for you. And now you tell me that I have changed and your life has been rearranged, I’m not the woman you once adored, and you’re right! She was replaced by the clone you love more. ======================== mirror mirror on the wall ......... and a ditto of sens wisdom......... outstanding poetic purge Lady W, hits so close to home twas hard to read... and yet impossible not to...... make sense? ... yes.... I know. I love your imperfections ... I love your everything ... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Lady--I have been in this place that you have written of with such feeling and bitter poetic wisdom...Excellent write, my friend. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
never change yourself for anyone; if they don't like you-show them the door! Kathleen Blake |
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