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Dark Poetry #3
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Secrets
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Secrets |
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Mykels_Angel Junior Member
since 2001-06-25
Posts 38australia |
She stands before the mirror and looks intot he glass the make up that she wears hides the secrets from her past. the way shes bene abused is why she cant decide should she end it all now or keep it all inside. she sees the pictures in her mind the worst is saved for last she looks down at her fisted hand and thrusts it through the glass shes got secrets locked up inside rattling tattling tyrign to get out shes got secrets locked up inside rattling tattling TRYING TO GET OUT!! she look at down her bleeding hand bruised and scratched all over glass in shattered in her skin she wants to cry but shes cried all away her tears she remembers how much she loved her boyfriend but he just bashed her and left her in the gutter she tries to cry and cry and cry but all that comes out is blood. shes got secrets locked up inside rattling tattling tyring to get out shes got secrets locked inside rattling tattling trying to GET OUT! THE END!  Hope u liked this song If you loved it so much, you can email me at rammstein_chick@hotmail.com for some mp3's of it BYE! luv sarah! |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sarah Alford - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Good expression here...James |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hey Sarah. This reads like something I have seen before. Maybe you did a revision or something. It's cool though. The whole scene is well written. You've come a long way from the very first poem you posted. One thing though, THE END at the end of the piece was a little distracting unless it is part of the song. If it isn't, maybe try removing it because it gives the ending a really weak finish. Other than that, thanks for the read. ~AF~ Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me... |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was very good, i can relate to this piece. good work. |
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LadyPeach1 Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282 |
This was a very nice piece! Good job. LadyPeach1 |
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