... there are monsters inside.

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Dark Poetry #3

... there are monsters inside.

armanca
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 211
Tennessee

0 posted 2001-03-11 07:05 PM

With pure adhevsive
of nothing other than
my fear that sticks
to the monsters i keep.
they are passive here
Daunting me from a
distance that i can never
grasp... like the sinking
sand that pulls me out
of my mind and pushes
me out into the wilds of
what we make outside the
comforts of our world
The goldfish that always
stares seems soothing to
the part of you who keeps
taking the train ...
Remembering every silence
that screamed up at you when
you try to make sense of
this place you are at.
Where Oz seems sane
and your home is the last
place you can think of that
would make you feel safe.
Pieces keep floating off
and i keep blowing a wish
by each and every ounce
that i pray i will NEVER
see again... and if i'm
gifted... i'll learn to
color in the monsters
with something other
than myself ...

ma miller
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 806

1 posted 2001-03-11 09:32 PM

armanca ... this has a very original voice to it and i think it reads really well ... there's continuity in the theme and the ending is solid ... i didn't see any acceptance of constructive criticism, but i would be happy to give that side of my impressions if you wish?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-03-12 01:42 PM

I liked this one a lot.
THought it was well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

3 posted 2001-03-12 06:25 PM

And that is a start! Great work hon

Isis

*War produces one thing - Cemetaries. And in cemetaries there are no enemies!*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.

Necro Draconis
Member

since 2000-05-19

Posts 115

4 posted 2001-03-12 09:26 PM

I agree with this one

armanca
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 211
Tennessee

5 posted 2001-03-17 11:53 AM

Thank you for all your comments

Ma Miller.. i'd love to hear your impression
perhaps in an email though.

Carman

armanca
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 211
Tennessee

6 posted 2001-03-17 11:53 AM

thank you Isis and D.D.

[This message has been edited by armanca (edited 03-19-2001).]

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