a cigarette called comatose

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Dark Poetry #3

a cigarette called comatose

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

0 posted 2003-09-04 01:05 AM

Tried to run away from myself today
Tried to find something to make it all go away
Inject me with your comatose
I need lack of pain, I’m feeling under dosed
Make me someone beautiful
Someone they could love
Tried to run away from the world tonight
Tried to find the exit to this never ending fight
Seduce me with your abuse
I need more of something, I’m feeling underused
Make me someone beautiful
Someone they could love
I wish that I would wake up
But this is my life
I wish that I would wake up
But this isn’t a dream

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

1 posted 2003-09-04 10:11 AM

Nice lines here Mad_Hat.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Lady Godiva
Junior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 35
at the bottom of your glass

2 posted 2003-09-04 08:30 PM

uh huh..yes would love to wake up myself...you're right too bad this isn't a dream if it is..sure is one hell of a nightmare...

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

3 posted 2003-09-04 08:48 PM

Seduce me with your abuse
I need more of something, I’m feeling underused

yes, this is great! the end felt a little weak, but the over all idea for this piece is amazing. Refering to yourself as a drug, how creative. I liked this one. A lot.

[This message has been edited by Lexy (09-04-2003 08:49 PM).]

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2003-09-04 10:57 PM

Ryan, yes, I know
kinda like pinch me please
wake me from this nightmare?

adore these lines:

Seduce me with your abuse
I need more of something, I’m feeling underused

perfection!
xxoo

Black_Knight
Junior Member

since 2003-09-04

Posts 23
England

5 posted 2003-09-04 11:28 PM

A very nice turn of phrase indeed throughout this piece. It is an illustration of verbal dexterity that shows that the author is already beautiful, and just needs someone to make *them* smart enough to see it.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.