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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Penance
Dark Poetry #3
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Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
0 posted 2003-02-09 03:35 AM


When I Finally meet my maker
I'm the skeptic, I confess
I hope I have the courage
to deny him none the less.

And before he has my penance
I'll have his confession first
For the sum of all his sins
Compared to mine
is surely worse.
© Copyright 2003 Jason Lyle - All Rights Reserved
WisprWnd
Junior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 34
1 posted 2003-02-09 01:55 PM

You have the rythmic curse. can't seem to stop coming up with versed rhymes?
Try speed writing. dont stop writing at all for any reason and hear the last thing you said twice. the next one will sound ok. Its kind of like chess. Visualize.
WisprWnd
Junior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 34
2 posted 2003-02-09 01:57 PM

By the way man. I like the Poem.
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2003-02-09 03:05 PM

LOL at this one, enjoyed the spunkiness and sass.
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
4 posted 2003-02-11 11:45 PM

Nothing wrong with thw rhyme here if that's what's wanted...appreciate the sass too


lorenlynn
Member
since 2003-01-27
Posts 203
California Beaches
5 posted 2003-02-12 12:00 PM

This is an alright post here - I got a laugh out of it for sure.
Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
6 posted 2003-02-15 09:36 PM

Thanks for the comments,I'm glad my irony did'nt escape you all.
Jason
SPIRIT
Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
7 posted 2003-02-20 10:23 AM

This is a 'thinker' as well as a 'smiley'.

Nice indeed.  
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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Penance

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