Echoes of Ancestral Guilt - pipTalk Forums

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WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

0 posted 2002-10-15 09:10 PM

Echoes of Ancestral Guilt

Caught in an obsessive refrain
impending specters of timeless guilt
inflict us with this endless pain
for all the roads to death we've built-
when their voices cycle clear
dread throws echoes into bone.
Concealed delusions veiled by fear
in shadowed vaults deep in our souls
deny remotely chilling tears
as the dirge for all ephemeral tolls-
and when the voices cycle clear
dread throws echoes into bone.
We unwitting listeners hear
these voices as we sleep alone-
skeletal sorrows looming near
reverberate with hollow tones.
When the voices cycle clear
dread throws echoes into bone.

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

1 posted 2002-10-16 12:25 PM

in this peice the refrain works well, especially since it is part of the metaphor. i just really liked this piece.

"we didn't start the fire
its be always burnin' since the worlds been turnin'"

-bj

Amaranthine
Member

since 2002-10-06

Posts 61
ON Canada

2 posted 2002-10-16 07:51 AM

"impending specters of timeless guilt"
This line fascinates me with its seeming contradiction; for it means MORE rather than less because of it. I love to see logic eviscerated.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2002-10-17 12:25 PM

This is beautiful, desolate, lonely.

Hugs, and kisses

ti amo
Ed

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-10-18 03:09 PM

Bones of dreams
and dreams of bones.

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

5 posted 2002-10-24 10:55 PM

enjoyed.

made me think of someone being tortured with their own memories for some reason.
go figure.

cheers

J

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

6 posted 2002-10-26 07:22 PM

I seem to be adding a lot of poems to my library this evening. This is no exception. I loved your highly metaphorical and symbolic language in this, describing an endless cycle of death that seems to be inherent in humanity.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

7 posted 2002-10-27 09:11 PM

"when their voices cycle clear
dread throws echoes into bone"
I love the refrain, the echo within the bones, an echo from which we can never quite escape.

joey
New Member

since 2002-10-28

Posts 3

8 posted 2002-10-28 08:18 PM

WOW what a great piece, the symbolism and metaphores were amazing, everything i am looking for in a poem. you such talent i would love to trade poetry with you, wow that was great very intelligent and deep and the refrain was great, email me at jgullo29@yahoo.com

joey "love is the death of our hearts"

~K
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 104

9 posted 2002-10-29 03:33 AM

This is pure music to my ears. Well done!

Walter Poe
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 787

10 posted 2002-10-29 12:51 PM

Very deep it positively bodes
and i know where of i speak dark ghost

The very deep did rot: O Christ!
That ever this should be!
Yea, slimy things did crawl with legs
Upon the slimy sea.

Succubus
Member

since 2002-09-30

Posts 82
Canada, Ontario

11 posted 2002-10-29 08:43 PM

This piece was like song to my ears. Very creative and very deep.
Kisses,
Succubus

"We who have lived in concentration camps remember people who gave comfort to others, along with their last morsel bread..." -Victor Frankl

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