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Dark Poetry #3
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| Dark Poetry #3 |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
I sit alone in the darkness ... trying to word my thoughts. We walked along the concrete... you touched each wall we past. I sit alone in the darkness... remembering every feeling. We paved thick shadows that night... but if i went back today...they'd have faded. (when things seem to pact, so strong.. it's amazing how easily they fall apart) I sit alone in the darkness... i want to love you again. I could feel you thinking...i could taste you breathing. (when thing seem like they'd last forever.. it's amazing how simply fragile they are) My words are mixed, my thoughts are bruised, but that doesn't matter..for i know i loved you. My heart is shattered, my mind cluttered, but i'll always remember this summer, and think when I loved you... (it's amazing how one simple soul can destroy an entire life, yet open up a new world.. a world of mystery and darkness... and sometimes, when you get lost in that new world, you find your self.. battered and broken.Then you feel better, knowing that it was real while it lasted... somehow, it comforts you.-but it's a mystery) Please ... leave me to burn, and live you life of curiosity, and live it with grace...Never come back. for I would never wish to ruin you, like you have ruined me. "Paint your perfect day, I don't mind this. I'm better off by the way - Deeply grounded... You will get yours yours." |
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| © Copyright 2002 Sara Nicole - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Sara, I think that your writing gets better with each post. You are becoming more expressive and introspective. ~wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
introspective, eh? Well thank you wranx... your replies mean so much to me.. how do I thank you? hm.. well until I think of something, I'll simply say 'thanks'... ~ "Paint your perfect day, I don't mind this. I'm better off by the way - Deeply grounded... You will get yours yours." |
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arthur Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678england |
again this I like passion consumes itself yet better the pain of the flame than the cold of not feeling anything arthur |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This was a great poem. Its imagery is well done, especially your descriptions of the present darkness in contrast to the memories of life with the person being addressed. Perhaps a little more attention to spelling would make this an even better poem. This line: "when things seem to pact, so strong.. it's amazing how easily they fall apart" is somewhat confusing with. Is it "when things seen so packed" or "when things seem too packed"? Other than that, this is a really good poem. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
Fractal- I think she meant pact as in a bond formed between two people a promise that was apparently broken Everyone is right, Sara you are getting STRONGER and keep em' coming brian |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
Arthur* I don't know ... sometimes I wish I were numb, than to feel ... but most of the time (in fact, any other time but now) I rather burn, than freeze. Fractal* I believe you've misunderstood... but thanks anyway.. ha,  Brian* Thanks for sticking with me here... I don't think I'm stronger, actually (I don't know where all that's coming from...midnight son claims that my depression is disappearing with each post ... but I feel worse than ever. I don't get it.) but I think there may be more anger ... if anything. Thanks to everyone ... more times that I can count. -Sara "Paint your perfect day, I don't mind this. I'm better off by the way - Deeply grounded... You will get yours yours." |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
It may not feel like it but the poetic mind sometimes speaks louder than the ego ie: the one that is hurting maybe you DO have strength but a part of you doesn't want to see it well WE see it in your words take care brian |
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