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Dark Poetry #3
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Fireproof....
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Fireproof.... |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali 
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Just another dark bridge day- emotions float on seaweed escaping swift to bay. Forward my salutations as momentum gathers pace- determined that I falter with lack of social grace. Currents raging swiftly as I sink to undertow- stealing shallow breaths in bit Cursing emotions tidal flow. No escapade comes easy in murky water’s bout Flounder as finale Lacking luster-fill devout. Clinging moss-surrender around these curse-ed turns- Blindly I relinquish to this bridge I thought I’d burned. Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... [This message has been edited by devina (07-28-2002 05:30 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Tanya Nicole Bustamante - All Rights Reserved | |||
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
"No escapade comes easy in murky water’s bout Flounder as finale Lacking luster-fill devout." I really enjoyed reading this. Very dark... and a little scary. You have this way of writing... it just makes me keep reading... Continue this. (I feel weird saying this... but you spelt 'fireproof' with 3 O's... thought you might like to know.) -Sara If the world hates you for who you are, and you hate yourself for who are aren't... who do you change for? |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
yeppers...fixed that word...and? I blame it all on the baby waking up and having to rush to post this!! Thanks Sara~ and don't worry bout that..feel free to catch that anytime!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
when you take a metaphor, you really run with it... and i love that.  fireproof bridges...a concept i'm all too familiar with... and this one i wish i'd thought of...*grr* hehehe. enjoyed, as usual. it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Can I write like you? Pleeease? Loved it, d/T.She said burn ... together. |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
like them liquid words missus sighing d silent bri I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
i've tried so hard to not falter with lack of social grace in my business, that i've faltered my way short of the mark. a phenom of truth to my heart and conscience regarding my place in social standing life, and the place i allow myself to fall short of in gaining the one i want most. i loved this, devina! thanks for opening my eyes once again to things more "pure" than social cause to be! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
great flow! ponderously dark, this reads like watching a leaf float in a lazy current...and I love the one-two punch of your final line. I like this one much, sister-mine! (the title was a nice touch too!) applauding you over here. |
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CrEaTuRe Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 260Kuala Lumpur,Malaysia |
It's just great to watch the way the web of words are made and ure flow is good  Love CoMeS To ThOsE WhO Still HoPe AlThOuGh They've BeeN DiSaPpOiNteD,To ThOsE WhO StiLL BeLiEvE AlThOuGh ThEy'Ve BeeN BeTraYeD,LoVe KeEpS ThEm GoInG |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Excellent! |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Awesome flow. Drags you right in, then refuses t' let you go. And I quite honestly didn't mean to rhyme there. Yummy poem! written in blood before everything went black |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
MidnightSon- you sweetie...try to make a bold girl blush... Mike- now why would you wanna go and do a thang like that??? we ALL know how *disturbed* I am of late...grins* Brian- hmm...sighing d & silent bri??? what a freaking combo man...I LIKE it!!! Eve- glad I could give you the eye opener dearest...usually I get that- but it's more like one of those "what the hell??" looks...smiles to you!!! serenity- applause? I thought I told you I wanted DANCIN??? *she says with the serious look* Creature- thanks for the peek in my web... EagleOne- thank you hun..always good to hear from an old friend... Lori- c'mon lady...you ARE a poetess...sometimes we just can't help it!! grins you!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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