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Krishankins
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972
Texas

0 posted 2002-06-23 03:44 AM


We, members of the Broken Hearts Club, have all had to wear our smiles to keep the pain of a love lost hidden.

I smile, I laugh
I'm dying inside
Smoothe is the surface
Of love's suicide



© Copyright 2002 Kristopher Hankins - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-06-23 05:05 AM


I LOVE THE metaphor...and grin...sigh...I can RELATE.

[This message has been edited by serenity (06-23-2002 05:05 AM).]

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
2 posted 2002-06-23 09:42 AM


Awesome!

~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
3 posted 2002-06-23 11:58 AM


Very nice, complete thought

And...not too many pesky words.


~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-06-23 01:50 PM


That reminds me of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, when Corgan keeps sneering "Love is suicide!"

So yes, I like it. A whoooole bunch.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
5 posted 2002-07-08 12:08 PM


i like the way you make it rhyme..just keep it going longer.

Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.)

Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL
6 posted 2002-07-08 04:52 AM


I loved this piece, Kris.  It touched me to the very core; and it also got me to thinking. Maybe that is a good thing, maybe not. However, your writing always seems to have a mystery to it. Makes me wonder if you sit in trees watching me and have somehow cracked into my computer looking at all of work that I refuse to post lol. (sorry, 4am here and I am reaching the verge of delerious) Anyways... Awesome write my friend.

~Jess

MidnightSon
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312
between the gutter & the stars
7 posted 2002-07-08 04:57 AM


your style is wonderful
and true.

it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
8 posted 2002-07-08 11:21 AM


Hey Kris- you forgot to tell them how I tickle the laughs out before you have a chance a lusty suicide? eh?

Loved this....and too bad I'm not much at sewing or I'd fix you right up!!!

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



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