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Teen Poetry #4
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Essence of Fire
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Essence of Fire |
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas 
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Fire Smoothering, enraging, A tempestuous inferno, A thick sheet of suicidal gasses, Destruction. Don't ask me where this came form because I'm not to sure about to myself(writer's block)  |
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| © Copyright 2001 Malinda C. Duggan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
it was short if you would have keep up the power in it an d the flow it would have been really good Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way there mysel |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
always good to write short when ur in need of a new poem.. didnt seem to forced because it was very good, specially: "A tempestuous inferno" JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
wonderful usage of vocab. excellent  And short poems are ok, too ya know *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Short poems can indeed be good! I really liked this one! One question though-- suicidal gasses? Fire seems to be more of a homicidal thing....destructive, a killer, a destroyer...could you explain the suicidal aspect to me? Thank you!  *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Greeneyes: I liked this. I've sometimes written poems like that when I had a writer's block. I think that this went rather well. You might like to try writing something short like that, and then writing stanzas following it describing the different elements contained in the first stanza. That might help to get the ideas flowing more. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" -- Magus |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is really good. the shortness adds to the power of the poem. keep it up ~kate~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
i too had the same question about "suicidal gasses" I was thinking more of murderous gasses......pls explain the meaning to this. the poem is excellent by the way i love it "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this. Short and great  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
Well the reason I put that is b/c I just watched this movie called Gattaca...In it a guy burns himself alive...which is were I got the suicidal part....the reason why I but gasses is b/c most of the time when people are stuck in a fire, the die from the fums before the fire reaches them...It really don't make much sense but oh well...Guess thats what you get when you throw a whole bunch of different ideas together.  [This message has been edited by Greeneyes617 (edited 03-03-2001).] |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow that was great.....wow.. hey who cares about making sense anway? Bel |
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