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Teen Poetry #4
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jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa

0 posted 2001-02-19 09:28 PM


Shadows fall in are hearts,
Only there to rip us apart,
Only to be free to see a briter day,
Returning from my dream I am stuck this way,

Shadows cast and shadows poll,
Ringing the bell of deathly toll,
Am I to end of just a shure,
Just the thought makes me fuke,

Awaiting death day by day,
Same motto all work no play,
Because if you do you are fead to the snakes,
And I really don't want to be picked up with a rake!

Midnight's charm come to past,
But I am another prisoner made into fact,
Only to hang from a tree,
I would say ouch but there is a noose you see,

I have lived out the earthly days,
Death is comming so I run like haze,
Over the trees through the roof,
Even Michael Jordan couldn't do this with one foot.

So running fast and to just be free,
Not paying attention I run into a tree,
Ouch!


Lead me not into temptation,
I can find the way there mysel



© Copyright 2001 Michael Jay vaughn - All Rights Reserved
Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
1 posted 2001-02-19 09:41 PM


I like it Jay. This is really good.
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-02-19 10:28 PM


fuke?......what's that?

Anyway.....nicely done here.
I liked this a lot!!!!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa
3 posted 2001-02-20 09:25 AM


I don't know what a fuke is I just invented a new word I guess and thanks greeneyesgoofy

Lead me not into temptation,
I can find the way there mysel



Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2001-02-20 01:14 PM


ran into a tree?
i like your writing
it's not simple, but still it doesnt give me a headache to analyze
just right i guess
thanks for sharing

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
5 posted 2001-02-20 01:28 PM


hehe... i liked its seriousness but then the ending kinda disapointed me... it was going real good, and overall i liked it a lot.. keep on writing

JR


Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark.

jytree
Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336
omaha ark usa
6 posted 2001-02-20 08:23 PM


I was tired and couldn't think of a good ending

Lead me not into temptation,
I can find the way there mysel



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