Untitled( open to suggestions)

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Teen Poetry #4

Untitled( open to suggestions)

Greeneyes617
Member

since 2000-11-22

Posts 329
Arkansas

0 posted 2001-02-15 05:08 PM

The fog swirls around my ankels,
The gods above mock me,
The owl's call shatters the silents,
The sun shines though to save me.

This is kind of werid, but to me it is symbolic.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-02-15 07:42 PM

I think this was very nice. Not too deep but still the sybolism was there. I got it and I liked it.
No idea for a title.....if I had one I'd probably use it for myself hehe.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

2 posted 2001-02-15 07:50 PM

short, but it doesnt lack in content. it's actually easy to understand. And I love poems that don't give me a headache

With reagrds to the title....If this symbolizes you so much, I think the title should come straight from you

thanks for the wonderful read

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-02-15 07:52 PM

Lovely... but for a reason that might not even be a reason.
"Shatters the silents." Is this a typo of the word "silence," or is it referring to a group of beings as "silents?" If it is ~not~ just a mistake, it really held a lot of symbolism to me. If it is a typo, pretend it isn't. Don't ruin this for me. ~_^
Because of the signifigance of this part, had I written this poem and sat back for titling time, i would call it "the owl's call."
Great job, Greeneyes! ^_^
-Allan

When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda

Greeneyes617
Member

since 2000-11-22

Posts 329
Arkansas

4 posted 2001-02-15 09:54 PM

~* Dopey_dope and Acire *~ Thanks for your replys.

~* Allan *~ HA! You are to good! Your got it right. LOL! Thanks for the suggestion for a title. I like it. Thanks.

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