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Teen Poetry #4
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Submarine Quarter
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Submarine Quarter |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
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This is a 2am poem so be respectful when replying.  Do you play the game?....'Submarine Quarter' The metallic quarter submerges, Deep to the bottom drink. And again I swill my grief, As I vary the way I think. Fill it up, knock it down, Don’t ingest the lonely quarter. Skillful shooting; over rim, It tips against the border. Down it goes, down I go, Into another whereabouts. Free my mind; clean my shoulder, Kill this recurring doubt. Jeremy Raulinaitis "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Jeremy: Interesting poem. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the quarter is a metaphor, perhaps for some condition you may be in in your life. BTW, I kinda like writing 2AM poems. I think it's prolly because I'm a bit of a night owl. You seem to be too, judging by your skill here. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
*opens eyes wide like an owl* hoo hoo..hehe I actually didn't find this poem to be as great as some of the others I have read of yours Jeremy. However, the last stanza lingered in my head and and this part I considered to be quite powerful out of the entire piece. ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 02-06-2001).] |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Yes fractal: it's just a straightforward poem.. didnt take much time on this one, it was just for fun but I am the quarter in a way. Thanks for the reply. AF: I know, like I said, I was being lazy on this one. Thanks for the reply. Jeremy "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) [This message has been edited by jeremydraul (edited 02-06-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well I don't play drinking games cuz I'm straight edge. Anyhow....not as good as most, but a fun poem to read.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
good way of looking at the game JD I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Bright_Eyes Junior Member
since 2000-12-22
Posts 29Plymouth, MN |
I thought it was great. I loved the end, "Kill this recurring doubt." This poem makes you look at your own life in a very different way. Nice work! |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Not bad. Not really good, but not bad. I liked the metaphors you used. -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
I don't care what everyone else says i still like it! there aren't a lot of poems i don't like lol :> Good job!! ~Valerie~ *...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed |
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Neokrew Member
since 2000-12-24
Posts 60VA |
Hey, Well I liked it and I really tend to dislike 2am poems b/c all mine are mean cause by that time a am sleepy heheh j/k sometimes 2am poems are the best because if your up that late then your most likly thinking of the subject of the poem most of the time for me anyway.--Neo |
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