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thedarkangel
Member

since 2001-05-12

Posts 74
~*~the cutest~*~

0 posted 2001-05-12 11:43 AM

You're still the reason
I'm believing
But there you go again

Make up your mind
Act out your will
Find another thrill

Fun and games
All so plain
Clarity dawns on me

Ascencion Higher?
Harmony shattered harmlessly
No more Playing

Mean what we say
Unsure of voice
Shattered suddenly

Better?

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

1 posted 2001-05-12 11:48 AM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS

buckle ur seatbelt and enjoy the ride

lols

wow i liked this alots...the last line
'better?' WOW! that was great...the twist and all. so simple but just jammed packed with force!!
GREAT JOB ON THIS

tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"u say i only here wut i want too..."

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-12-2001).]

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

2 posted 2001-05-12 12:46 PM

Welcome to Passions

This is a good poem, the ending was a nice touch. I hope you like it here

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-12 01:26 PM

welcome...welcome...welcome..hope you like it here...and this was a great first post...i like it...thanks for sharing..

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

4 posted 2001-05-12 01:55 PM

Your ending was great! This better be a preview for what's to come...welcome to passions.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

5 posted 2001-05-12 05:17 PM

welcome to passions

i know youll love it here!!!
good job on the poem

*KiMMiE*

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

6 posted 2001-05-12 06:35 PM

Welcome to passions, great first post hope to see more soon.
Zu

" The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots" -Thomas jefferson

E-mail/Msn: Targetmrzu@hotmail.com

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

7 posted 2001-05-13 08:38 AM

Welcome to Passions!

This was an awesome first post. The way the ending went...BAM was so great. Enjoy your time here in the forums, and check your email for a neat-o message.

~Carly\Mod

"I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

8 posted 2001-05-13 08:41 AM

I really liked this. It was unique... very well written. Welcome to Passions!!

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

9 posted 2001-05-13 11:37 AM

Welcome to Passions!!

i really like this piece, very powerful writing and the ending is great. you have a lot of talent, i hope you like it here and i hope you stay for a long time. i look forward to more of your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

10 posted 2001-05-16 04:39 AM

This was wonderful! I truly enjoyed this post! I hope to see more of you around here and Welcome to Passions!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

11 posted 2001-05-16 09:39 AM

Welcome

I liked this... SEA

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

12 posted 2001-05-17 12:07 PM

WeLcOmE tO paSsiOns

Great first post!!! Hope to see more!!

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

13 posted 2001-05-17 01:42 PM

Welcome =) Loved your poem, I'm all out of constructive adjectives and comments at the moment but next time I'll lay them all on ya =)

Kristen

"Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night"

~Crash and Burn~

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

14 posted 2001-05-17 10:50 PM

Hey, first of all nice post! The flow was something to be applauded, and as everyone else said excellent ending.

However one of the things that I liked most was inconsistent throughout, and that was the way the tercets all had an ending line that seemed to read longer than the previous two. This was killed in the fourth stanza. It might read through a bit better if you switch the last two lines around in that stanza.

Welcome to Passions in Poetry. Hope to read more from you!
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

15 posted 2001-05-22 09:39 AM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

I know I'm a little late at welcoming you, but I'd still want you to know that I am

Hope you enjoy your stay here in Passions for Poetry
Happy reading and sharing your work as well

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

16 posted 2001-05-23 03:19 AM

word! welcome to passions! hope ya like it here! i know i do! great poem!
robin

I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL!

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