lonely nights lonely children

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anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

0 posted 2001-04-04 09:15 PM

not one of ma best also not many can relate to but... this is jus one of the poems for this blinded world that lies injustice

the world to massive for the children to handle
where innocent minds fear of something of the world
children fall to sleep where many nights when they cry to sleep
as for them to realize that tears in innocent eyes only cry to be acknowledged
for the life they have not chosen to have
but to have given them a life for them to be loved
why does this relentless world leave children on their own
when they know that they have innocent minds all alone
why must childrens minds become corrupted and lose their hopes
for the children know nothing but what they see from the world
though as a teenager where i realized the world
where lonely nights alone are hard to overcome
but for young innocent souls as children
for them to go through so much pain never to know why?
to see this its sad but its how it is
where innocent children have to live lonely nights as lonely children.

dec.23

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-04-2001).]

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

1 posted 2001-04-05 07:43 AM

I would agree that this isn't your best piece but it is still a good poem. The message is a powerful one and a lot of the wording is quite beautiful. keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

2 posted 2001-04-05 01:23 PM

Hey,

Me too I agree with about everything Ban. said adding this good poem and, until your next

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-04-05 04:37 PM

I felt like you had some good thoughts, but I also felt like they were scattered. Maybe you should go a little bit more in depth in what you mean by certain things within the poem.
Nicely done though.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

branden726

Senior Member

since 2000-09-25

Posts 607
Bay City, MI

4 posted 2001-04-05 04:40 PM

im with Dope and well always have been, good poem but the um shall we say format didnt intrest me and maybe if you tryed to put a lil more depth like dope said it would be a great poem and well its not far from being that.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-04-05 05:01 PM

thanks 4 the replys but yea i didn't write this in depth jus as a considered opinion of thought

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 04-05-2001).]

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