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Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

0 posted 2001-03-18 10:09 PM

Born into a house stone
With iron bars upon the door
windows through which no light shown
Wrapped in the cloth of the poor

Trapped by a fear that knew no end
Left with no respect to show
I was a small child which no one would tend
A fawn deserted by its doe

I knew nothing expect for the color black
Shivering from a constent cold
Now tell what did others have that i did lack
Why did i have no one to hold

Left with the sweet dream of hope
And a song made up of a single sour note
How i ever managed to cope
when the story of fate had already been wrote

But then I met a soul
And though my eyes couldn't see
He took my hand and gave a strong pull
And gave me light that i did need for he unlike others believed in me..

~*Peachy Be*~

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

1 posted 2001-03-19 10:56 AM

A zero reply count on page two?!?!

That is definitely not right at all.

This person sounds like they did you the world of good as the way you were living was not pleasent one single bit. It's funny how one single person can change your entire outlook on life when they care and believe in you.

~AF~

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
-W. Edwards Deming

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-03-19 12:13 PM

I liked it. I think the ending is quite positive since this new soul is leading you to a light that will bring you happiness.
Good luck!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

3 posted 2001-03-19 05:13 PM

Wow, this is wonderful! I really really love it. Keep posting! :-)

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

4 posted 2001-03-19 08:05 PM

hey,

I am undecided about what I think. But I can tell you I think I liked it. Keep it up

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

5 posted 2001-03-20 01:05 PM

"Trapped by a fear that knew no end
Left with no respect to show
I was a small child which no one would tend
A fawn deserted by its doe"

Wonderful poem! It's simply brilliant... Keep up the great work.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

6 posted 2001-03-20 10:12 PM

I thought it was pretty good!

Fine job.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

StarPryncess17
Senior Member

since 2000-05-31

Posts 932
Colorado

7 posted 2001-03-20 10:20 PM

wow, do you know the story of my life or what?!?! LoL

thanks so much for sharing this, it provided some sort of closure which I can't explain. you honestly brought a tear to this lifeless soul...best wishes ~*~Jesilyn~*~

"Tell me why you cry"

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

8 posted 2001-03-26 07:55 PM

"Left with the sweet dream of hope
And a song made up of a single sour note"

I believe these lines are one of the most beautiful ones I've ever read in pip. Wonderful

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

9 posted 2001-03-27 12:11 PM

that was well written
i liked it life is sumtimes a trapped prison
keep writin

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

10 posted 2001-05-02 01:23 AM

*bump*page one..

i personally liked this poem
cuz as i said in my last reply life is really like this
and it had hope at the end which made it a more of a great poem..

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

11 posted 2001-05-02 07:46 AM

lol thanx for bumpin again

i have to agree that these lines are like awesome!
'Left with the sweet dream of hope
And a song made up of a single sour note'

my foots asleep

newayz! i liked this alot

tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

"at the touch of love anyone becomes a poet"

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