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Open Poetry #12
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head hurts
| Open Poetry #12 |
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head hurts |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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What is pain? What’s its absence? A goodbye should be clean, free of sinew, tissue. It should be a bone ground out of shape, a jewel buried under tons of the sea. There should be no follow-up calls, no probing letters, no dreams where this person still lives, no life where this person still dreams. Dreamers should be outlawed, as far as goodbye is concerned. The pregnancy of hello should not be felt, humming in the ears, breaking the mind in two in its weightless wait. No smiles should be mined from memories, no special dates recorded and kept for their feeling of white, smooth sand and tanned legs, sunny possibility. The word should not be two syllables: one smooth, one harsh – aiming a gun and firing. The bullet should leave no wound or, better yet, should leave the recipient dead, unremembered. Because, oh, if we could break that chain of reminisce, we’d be much happier venturing out into the chilly morning, the hot afternoons, and the coldest nights. What is the absence of pain? What takes the place of that absence? |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
What is pain? What’s its absence? A goodbye should be clean, free of sinew, tissue. It should be a bone ground out of shape, a jewel buried under tons of the sea. There should be no follow-up calls, no probing letters, no dreams where this person still lives, no life where this person still dreams. ====================== The word should not be two syllables: one smooth, one harsh – aiming a gun and firing. The bullet should leave no wound or, better yet, should leave the recipient dead, unremembered. Because, oh, if we could break that chain of reminisce, we’d be much happier venturing out into the chilly morning, the hot afternoons, and the coldest nights. What is the absence of pain? What takes the place of that absence? =================== thats like asking you to write without imagery and brutally honest emotion ... what would take its place ... awesome write BSQ ...truly take care of you jm No one ever told me ... I could get lost while standing still ... and sorrow doesnt make a sound ... as it takes away all your will. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
This is just pure raw emotion...so full of pain...wonderful Life's a game...but who says you have to follow the rules? |
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bbent Senior Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 521Alaska |
Hi bsqirrel, Been there,done that,had to leave, Definatly pounded a few nails in my head. Good poem bbent ~ live and let live ~ |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Mike~ this is wonderful, and I do believe I have felt this more than once.  -SEA |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
I hope your happy now my "head hurts" too! Always having to second guess and wonder if your writing about more than what your saying. Take 2 asprins call back in the morning. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This is Great BS, loved the way you opened your poem and the ending as well, some great questions there. enjoyed your poem Maree I need a lullaby a kiss goodnight Angel sweet love of my life Oh, I need this ~Natalie Merchant~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is wonderful...and that's coming from your "absent" friend...maybe I need to write a "hello" poem and send it e mail...I know, I know, it' gonna be a long one...sigh... however do you put up with me? |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Amen!! |
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athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
B, A wonderful read! I can relate completely. If only we had the answers of "where to go after the pain". Elise |
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